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Isn't like just purely wonderful?
Like walking in late to a class, and theres only a few seats open.
And watching people stare at you as you walk close to those seats near them.
Oh Yes.
To feel like your loosing your absolute best friend.
To feel so ******** alone.
To watch ever singlw one of your friends being happy with their girlfriends and boyfriends.
And hanging around with them.
While I sit at home attatched to computer.
Just to be with some friends, who live far away and don't even really know who they are.
And relying on them to be there, when they have their own lives.
:l
Sitting at a desk, watching people near you drag their desks away.
To sit in the back of the class, in the corner.
Praying not to be noticed.
To go be with your friend for lunch.
But her, her boyfriend and I go to sit with his friends.
I feel so out of place.
So I decide to leave and go see some friends I used to be good friends with.
And then decide I feel so mother ******** out of place there too.
I got back to my class, and just sit there in silence.
:l
To have my teacher make fun of how he can't see my eyes.
To get yelled at by a teacher for talking, and have him direct it towards only me, and not my friend who was talking to her.
My parents, don't notice, anything at all.
I feel distanced.
I feel alone.
I feel weak.
I find myself shaking, and feeling like I'm going to drop to my knees.
To paste on a smile that nobody can see through.
I can't even explain anything about why.
Or even begin to fix these problems in my life.
Maybe I'm blowing things out of porportion.
Maybe I'm just failing to see people have life worse than me.
:l
Maybe I'm just stupid.
What a Two Month Annaversary.
I'm probably just over-reacting.
Don't mind my petty problems.
They're nothing to worry about.