don't even know what to call this but extreme emoness
have you ever had one of those days that just made you blue. i've been up for like 2 hours and already it's that kind of day. i haven't talked to my best friend in like a week and when i tex her and ask her to call me, i have to wait an hour for an answer and then it's "i'm too busy". and to make matters worse when i told her this morning about a guy i like, i guy i really have a snowman's chance in hell with btw, and ask her about it, her solution is to pray that i stop liking him. pray to not get the guy i want? isn't that a little counter productive. to make matters worse, my other best friend is depressed and taking it out on me. apparently he can't talk to me anymore cause i tell him the truth and the truth hurts. would he rather i lied to him? i'm just trying to protect him and apparently that's the wrong thing to do. not even my internet friends want to talk to me. the computer itself has more in depth conversations with me than they do. i really don't know what to do anymore. i don't usually have these kind of problems. i'm always so busy helping my friends fix theirs that i don't have time to have my own, and i don't mind that. i love helping my friends out, it make me feel like i'm worth something. but then when i have problems i don't know what to do. i mean when your on the phone with someone, one of your very best friends who you trust above all others, pouring your heart out and you know the person on the other end isn't listening to a word your saying, you start to feel like you aren't really worth all that much after all. i simply don't know what to do anymore. don't get in these moods often but when i do, well i just feel like all i'm doing is taking up space. even now writing this, i know i'm the only one that's actually gonna read it. i don't think anyone else really cares. oh well i'll get over it i guess. just had to vent a little. i'm gonna go now before i start crying. cya.
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