Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural.
Real Americans always reject
unnatural things like eyeglasses,
polyester, liposuction and air
conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage
people to be gay, in the same
way that hanging around tall people
will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open
the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets
because a dog has legal standing and can
sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a
long time and hasn't changed at all;
women are still property, blacks still
can't marry whites, and divorce is still
illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful
if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage
would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they
produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples,
and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry
because our orphanages aren't full yet, and
the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay
children, since straight parents only raise
straight children.
Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one
religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a
male and a female role model at home. That's
why we as a society expressly forbid single
parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation
of society; we could never adapt to new
social norms. Just like we haven't adapted
to cars, the service-sector economy, or
longer life spans...
I DUNNO WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS!!!!!!!!
1) Being gay is not natural.
Real Americans always reject
unnatural things like eyeglasses,
polyester, liposuction and air
conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage
people to be gay, in the same
way that hanging around tall people
will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open
the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets
because a dog has legal standing and can
sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a
long time and hasn't changed at all;
women are still property, blacks still
can't marry whites, and divorce is still
illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful
if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage
would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they
produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples,
and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry
because our orphanages aren't full yet, and
the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay
children, since straight parents only raise
straight children.
Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one
religion are imposed on the entire country.
That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a
male and a female role model at home. That's
why we as a society expressly forbid single
parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation
of society; we could never adapt to new
social norms. Just like we haven't adapted
to cars, the service-sector economy, or
longer life spans...
I DUNNO WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS!!!!!!!!
