Three men get stranded on an island inhabited by cannibals.
The chief cannibal says "I'll let you live but ONLY if you each go out and gather 10 fruits of the same type and bring them back in one hour"
So the three men scramble in differant directions to gather fruit.
Man 1 comes back with ten apples.
"Good," says the chief "Now you must shove all ten up your a** without making any facial expression or you will be killed"
The man reluctantly complies. He gets the third apple in his a** before screaming out in pain and dying.
Man 2 comes back with ten blueberries and is given the same spiel.
"Shove all ten up your a** without any expression or you will be killed"
He gets the first one in, then the second and so on until berry number eight. He bursts out laughing and is killed.
Man 2 arrives in heaven and is talking to Man 1 who asks
"What happened? You were nearly home free!!"
"I know," Says Man 2 "but I saw Man 3 coming up the hill with pineapples."
So a guy goes to a bar and he sees this horse. o.o And there was a sign that said "Make The Horse Laugh, Win $1000"
So the man went to the bar owner and asked if he could take the horse out back. The owner said that would be fine. When the man brought the horse back, it was laughing its a** off. The owner was amazed and reluctantly gave the man the $1000.
The man came back a month later and the horse was still laughing. He saw that there was a new sign that said "Make The Horse Cry, Win $10,000"
The man once again asked to take the horse out back. When he brought it back, it was balling its eyes out. The owner was amazed and asked, "How in the world did you do this??"
The man laughed and replied, "Well you see, I made him laugh by telling him my d**k was longer then his."
o.o "How did you make cry???" the man demanded.
"I proved it."
So, I moved into a new apartment recently and it's great, really, just magnificent except there's this one light switch that doesn't do ANYTHING.
Sometimes, when I'm bored or drunk or I have nothing else to do, I like to dlip that switch on and off, on and off, on and off, on and off, trying to figure out what the hell it was.
Long story short, yesterday I get this letter from a lady in Australia that simply says "Dear, Jackass. Stop it."
The chief cannibal says "I'll let you live but ONLY if you each go out and gather 10 fruits of the same type and bring them back in one hour"
So the three men scramble in differant directions to gather fruit.
Man 1 comes back with ten apples.
"Good," says the chief "Now you must shove all ten up your a** without making any facial expression or you will be killed"
The man reluctantly complies. He gets the third apple in his a** before screaming out in pain and dying.
Man 2 comes back with ten blueberries and is given the same spiel.
"Shove all ten up your a** without any expression or you will be killed"
He gets the first one in, then the second and so on until berry number eight. He bursts out laughing and is killed.
Man 2 arrives in heaven and is talking to Man 1 who asks
"What happened? You were nearly home free!!"
"I know," Says Man 2 "but I saw Man 3 coming up the hill with pineapples."
So a guy goes to a bar and he sees this horse. o.o And there was a sign that said "Make The Horse Laugh, Win $1000"
So the man went to the bar owner and asked if he could take the horse out back. The owner said that would be fine. When the man brought the horse back, it was laughing its a** off. The owner was amazed and reluctantly gave the man the $1000.
The man came back a month later and the horse was still laughing. He saw that there was a new sign that said "Make The Horse Cry, Win $10,000"
The man once again asked to take the horse out back. When he brought it back, it was balling its eyes out. The owner was amazed and asked, "How in the world did you do this??"
The man laughed and replied, "Well you see, I made him laugh by telling him my d**k was longer then his."
o.o "How did you make cry???" the man demanded.
"I proved it."
So, I moved into a new apartment recently and it's great, really, just magnificent except there's this one light switch that doesn't do ANYTHING.
Sometimes, when I'm bored or drunk or I have nothing else to do, I like to dlip that switch on and off, on and off, on and off, on and off, trying to figure out what the hell it was.
Long story short, yesterday I get this letter from a lady in Australia that simply says "Dear, Jackass. Stop it."
