Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Be still!
You don't own me
Be still!
I am the one in control
Be still!
A prowling tiger moving in for the kill
Be still!
To late your dead and for once eternally
Be still!

Feeling of trying
Love slowly dieing
Pain growing stronger
Depression having hold longer
My life will know no love.

You have to let life be in control
Well I am the one in control
I am going to allow death to rule
I have always felt a burning pain
The pain of letting my soul go

Crying tears of sadness
knowing no gladness
Surrounded by badness
Death finally comes.

Crying tears of sadness
knowing no gladness
Surrounded by badness
Death finally comes.

Judgement meant for two
But given to one
An eternity of hell
So much fun.

Blue because of you
Tears cried for two
No more pain ever again
I will never give in.


If love hurts than why do you
continue to let the things of pain continue.
You say you love me
But why can't you see
I've given you my heart 100% free

The pain of depression I know is real
These feelings I have you cannot feel
My hands will be clean of your pain
Your blood, my hands, will not be stained.

"Murder"
Death that cannot be found
Blood stained carpets found all around.
The crime that was committed
Unsolved the answer never to be found.

I cannot give but yet still live
I dare not to venture into the light
Because there is only good in the night
I care not for many things on this place
My feelings my own still a disgrace
.....~


Daydreamers dreaming
Birds singing
Sunlight brightness
Light shown all around
Look at the angel I have found
Her eyes like diamonds
her face like love
She showed me the good things in light
but still i must say
I prefer the night
we each try to compromise
with decisions we make
.......~


Daydreamers dreaming
Birds singing
Sunlight brightness
Light shown all around
Look at the angel I have found
Her eyes like diamonds
her face like love
She showed me the good things in light
but still i must say
I prefer the night
we each try to compromise
with decisions we make
.......~


Sadness not gladness
knowing only tears
scars can show the pain
from all past years
These scars they will not ever heal
things I carry.


Depression
a word I know of
a feeling opposite of love
misunderstood by a mass multitude
feeling only sorrow
not wanting morrow
needing to know other human touch
giving not taking nearly as much
as others around you have done

"Untitled"
If people cared for me I would care for them.
I speak but am not heard.
I am present but not counted.
I accept my ways, I accept
how I am and how I always will be, nothing.
I live the day as if was my last and the nights as if they are days. I forgave others, but they did not me. I loved a precious few, but all I got was forget you. What I need is not an angel but someone to love like an angel. I loathe the light and exalt the darkness . I fear the known and welcome the unknown . Why hold on and continue this struggle? Why don't I just allow my not known life to be known in my own death?

"Me"
I sit here writing to none but myself for I am the only one who cares. My family says they love me, but yet treat me like a slave. Perhaps my dark style of life is the result of their love. Well thanks to them I welcome death and hate life. May God destroy my soul, for my life has no purpose. It is finished.

"My Love in Life."
My love for life does not exist. My mind demands me to insist. To wake up in a world of sorrow I expect the same from t'morrow. I have but one joy in my life. She will make a man happy as a wife. Surely for her I would die. But with her sadness I would cry. I asked for someone I could treat like an angelnot to be an angel. Instead I got both and blessed my God. My love has been reassembled. Past can tell its been remembered. My human side is coming back. My monster ways are dieing. Thanks babygirl your the only one whos trying.


"Low"
Not feeling high
Angry at giving in
Not knowing whats above
Feeling down
Under many
Below lots.

Untitled
Openly I accept death
Wanting to breath no more
I seek the sight of
My own blood on the floor
I challenge life
I play with death
I wish not to be
My pain can't you see
The depression has ended
Soon also will my life.

"Giving"
Not wanting at all
Loaning to all
Not taking
Not wishing for
Only wanting to give.

"Pain"
Not feeling love
No God above
Below I may go
Heaven I can't see
Only Hell will let me be
One of importance
One of. . . . . .