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crying
Go figure things would be going this way with my family and some of my friends. I've always been the strong one in my family or at least one of them. Nothing phases me and nothing bothers me... supposedly. I have MDS and a lot of other problems to top that off. I'm not likely to survive my baby's birth let alone her first birthday. My baby's dad took off with his ex because he couldn't handle the situation. I dont' blame him. My big brother is awsome and wants to break his legs but sometimes he can be a little to smothering. I'm dying not dead yet. My best friend who is my only friend currently on here is amazing. She's put up with a lot from me and I love her for all the things she says and the things she doesn't. We've been friends for pretty much ten years and she never stops surprising me. I had an interesting day today. Talked to my mom on the phone because I got stuck outside of where I live. I live far from a hospital and it's not always possible to get out when I need to because of my illness. I'm not supposed to get stressed out or upset but that seems to be impossible. I tried to talk to my mom about moving in with her till I get better or find a place of my own. She said no because I don't get along with my step sister and my step father scares me. This is the second time I've gone through her chosing her bf over me. I'm over it and just sad rather then mad that she still does this to me. I am out of options now and if this treatment that i'm on which is evasive and painful doesn't work i'll die for sure. I refuse to accept that. The world has done nothing since I was born but throw me down and kick me before I could figure out what was going on. I will not back down. I will not vanish without a fight. I'm going to keep fighting and the world can do what it likes. I wont' back down.. I'll find a way to survive... for my little girl's sake. smile