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Okay, I just don't know what to do or feel at this point. At first he was like my brother i had nothing to do with him what so ever and then..he begged in earnest he pleaded he even threatened his life, and threatened doing drugs again. I had no choice did i? So I said yes, he could not live without me. He made that so clear...in everyway shape and form. So I did as he pleased helped him. He then left to another girl without a word basically. I had to promise to wait...but he then said to think about me not coming back. He was done with me. Completly...I never thought it would have hurt that much. I mean honestly...I could live without him but he not me. Now he left me without a care...and now it hurts to think of him...and to know he is with my sisters friend...I was not a care anymore and still i am nothing meant to him. Everything I did, every thing I mended meant nothing. I became his toy...I didn't want to beleive it. I now have the feeling he did...or i had it...I couldn't get him off my mind. How he used me...how he just threw me away after every promise after every tear and every fight to keep him alive. The one he is with now doesn't even show any respect...if it weren't for me he would have died a long time ago. I have a new boyfriend who loves me for me...but the other guy can't get out of my head. He is ripping me apart...What did I do to deserve this...I helped him I made his live better at the cost of mine...He will get out of my head...He has to...I will make sure of it...He doesn't deserve a place in my mind or world. I love my boyfriend and my life eventually he will get out of my head. I wil make sure of it. I decided I need to rant...and vent it out so don't critize me.