May 17, 2010 Monday 1:12AM
Dear Sennyo,
Looking back, I was a really horrible person to you Sennyo. Not exactly helping my case, nor yours, especially with all of my anxiety back then, and frustration with the medication. I apologize sincerely for that.
Nucc and I chatted, and continue to chat now, for a good two hours today, from 10:30PM till 12:26AM.
[1:28AM]
After saying "daisuki da yo" to him, and inquiring if I had said it correctly, he replied yes, but he believes that we've moved "'beyond that, and into the realm of "aishiteru" <3".
It touched my heart to no end, that he thinks we've move up to that point. I feel that way towards him as well, that level of "suki", but I fear that we're rushing our relationship. I don't want our love to extinguish, for I feel that we can have such an intense passion for each other because of our physical distance, physical longing for each other.
My mind flashes back to our secluded, little path at the park. I remember as we were walking back we made out in front of a ray of sun, illuminating the left side of his face and head in gold as the sun blinded my right eye. I remember the warmth on the right side of my head as the sun's light hit me, and his arms around me, his hand at the back of my head.
How I remember that warmth as he held me from behind, and I him.
I got into an argument with Emma/Link today on facebook which was brought about when she asked if the person in my profile picture with me as my brother. I told her it was my boyfriend, whom I met online one and a half years ago on the internet, and I suppose that's where I ******** up. She's the same pathetic female that was against Veil and Sycyu's relationship. We went into argument for a few posts, at least
three or four posts to each of us. I presented this to Nucc, who replied that I didn't have to defend anything. "What other people think of us is ultimately irrelevant. "Us" is between you and I."
So, after that, I broke up the conversation, and deleted all of my posts relevant to it, save for my last post of "i delete nao."
It's people like her that give me many of my insecurities about Nucc and I's relationship, I think.
I love him.
[2:15AM]
[2:25AM]
I do.
I really do.
I love Nucc.
[End Log] 2:26AM
Poison Fairy Sennyo Community Member 
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