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June 6, 2010 Sunday 1:36PM

My dearest Sennyo,

I shall tell you chronologically of my story these past few days, to prevent any future confusion and lack of transition.

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May 26, 2010 Wednesday 1:24PM

Sennyo,
It's been a while, hasn't it? Since I've last written to you on paper first.
So much to tell you. I'm so sorry.

I haven't spoken to Nucc since Sunday... three days ago...
I miss him so much... his warmth, his touch, his warm and strong embrace. His lips, pressed against mine... his tongue, within my mouth His kind and sweet words, ... oh! how I miss him so!
I want to hear his voice, and feel him and smell him and hold him... oh, god, please save me Nucc, please save me! I need you so much!
The parent-people have found out about my scars! Oh, ********!
[2:13PM]
[2:49PM]
I cannot count how many times I've asked him to save me...
I miss you so much, Nucc. And you don't deserve this.
He really doesn't deserve to be with someone as pathetic as me...

[3:33PM]
I will be unable to go to the youth-group for the next four weeks if mother-person plans on keeping her word

[3:50PM]
I miss him so much... Nucc...
[3:51PM]

[8:51PM]
Nucc... I miss you so much... I need you... please save me...
[End Log]

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May 29, 2010 Saturday 11:33AM

Sennyo,
Y[e]sterday and the day before I wasted/spent most of mt rime on the Sims 3, creating my own little world in there, with Nucc and I and now we have two sons: Henry and Vincent.
[12:01PM]
[End Log]

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June 4, 2010 Thursday 11:19PM

Sennyo,
I don't want to die, I just want to stop living.
I want to stop breathing, but I don't want to did. I promised him that...



I haven't told you yet, have I, Sennyo?
The anxiety atacks are coming back. Not as frequently or as intensly, but back all the same.
I think I know what's causing them though... not that it helps...

My desire to be with and to die with Ross.
From what I remember from hus m[ore] recent reply (from the m[ore] recent letter I've sent him, with the comic of my dream of him/us), he said that he's glad that we spoke before he had received it. Saying something about being a bit heart broken [had we not spoken before him receiving it].

Oh, Nucc! Don't let me ever gain break your heart, please! Nucc... I love you so much...
[11:40PM]
[End Log] 12:43AM June 5, 2010 Friday.


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I spoke to him on the phone yesterday for 64 minutes. It was really nice. I miss his voice, so much. Mother-person says that I may have my cell back twice a day for an hour each. She owes me 2.5 hours, as I used it for 1.5 yesterday, and she and the father-person are out with the second-sister person most of the day today, hence why I can write like this to you.

Nucc and I were chatting on IM from 11:55AM to 3:02PM today, taking a break now so that he may have his lunch.
Sennyo... he says that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
A short life?
A normal and long life?
I don't really know...
All is right in the world though, so long as I feel this way towards someone, and those feelings are returned.

Yesterday, also, I went for the first time to that group therapy thing that mother-person had me attend. It wasn't as terrible as I thought it'd be.

Nucc and I are desperate to meet each other again and soon, and mother-person is being an a** about it, refusing to want to meet him next Saturday. I miss him so much. The woman is being so damn stubborn.
I love you, Nucc. I love you.

[Log may be continued] 3:43PM