this really aint how i wanted to start my first entry but life isnt how u always want it, right?
Any ways, im fifteen yrs old. i live with my mom one week the nxt week i live with dad. i only know this way of living, nvr really bein part of either family i was raised with. tho ppl say im very social, i love to b alone. I guess thats the way my life has been since i was little, alone. im kinda awkward n wierd around ppl my age bcuz i dnt kno how to act my age. i had to grow up so fast. By eight yrs old i was my newborn sister's baby-sitter. By ten i was my sister's best frend. Now? well now, im my sister's mommy figure. My mom is around, but its me my sister seeks solace in. My frends come to me wen they need a shoulder to cry on, or a ear to tell a secret. Around guys im a frend, a sister. i wish to be seen by a guy for my beauty like other grls. But, my parents dnt thnk im ready to date, i kinda agree but, not really. I thnk im ugly but evry1 says im kinda pretty. i dnt believe them. i look like my mom, so im told, but i dnt see it. does any body that looks kind of like their parent see it? Not really.
ppl thnk i dnt see much bcuz i talk so much but i talk so much so i can observe more.
I see thro ppl, nd am a good judge of character. wen in this crazy world we live in, looks is wat beauty is n not the inside, i lure the inside beauty out of others for the rest of the world to see. I try to lure my inner beauty out but, no such luck.
ppl see a loud, well humored grl that doesnt need much of anything from any1 but in truth i desire to love n b loved. i feel the need to have some1 as anyone does. i desire the need to feel loved by my mother. tho i kno it might not come as i want. she will say i love u n buy me things but will she evr make me feel it not only for a moment but forever no matter wat? i dnt kno.
in truth i am a 15 yr old grl searching for love, truth, and beauty.
