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So, I probably won't live long enough to see thirty years old. But, I never let that get me down. So then, why can't I seem to get over that my ex is gay? Probably because he's known since before my mom died, and to be honest, it would have been easier to hear then because I was actually kind of glad she was gone... But now, it's a struggle to wake up every morning, and walk into class and listen to people talk about how uncommon it is for younger people to have heart attacks, well she was 32 and had one. I already deal with a lot, my struggle with self image, my deeply rooted hatred for my dead mother, and a lot of self hatred. So I guess, this is so hard because for the first time in years I actually believed someone could love me. Ha, what a joke.