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Dear Diary--- I mean journal... o.o,

Ah, so, want to hear my cliche life story? Actually I'm not sure if it's cliche. Huh...
[START]

I'm Maddie if you don't know my name. I like to keep my age a mystery because often people guess wrong and that sparks a conversation, a lovely one at that. I am a very odd, almost bi polar ( not really ) anime/manga, deeply written from the soul stories and poems, green eyed boy, any music but screamo, lovin' girl! Teehee. I first got interested in anime because I was surfing ( ha ha ) the web and for some reason came across the popular anime SHUGO CHARA. It was my very first anime and immediately fell in love with ( for all I knew at the time ) the show! Thats something none of you want to know though ( who cares how she got into anime, gawd, lol )

Life story-ish short version

I have never met my biological father. I don't plan to ither. No, no, it's not a sad thing, I'm completely okay. I'm not emo or goth. ( even though, I have nothing against those people ) I was raised by my mom and grandparents until I was five. Then my Ma ( mom in my slang, rofl ) bought a house, met a guy, married him, he moved in with his two kids. Then my Ma had 2 more kids with that guy. His name is David, he's real cool, I was afraid of him at first. Though I've always been cautious of people in general. I have one older brother, two younger sisters, and one younger brother. The older brother is Dave's ( David ) oldest son. My first younger sister is also his daughter. My other younger sister came from my mom, so did my little brother. My life, as a kid, was HARD growing up. Not hard economically, but emotionally. Yeah, yeah. I know there are some of you reading this that are saying "I bet your life was nothing compared to those who are abused!" And, you're right. It's not, but this is the only life I'll ever experience and it was hard for me. My older brother ( step brother ) wasn't nice, he was very selfish and he hurt my first younger sister a lot. My first youngest sister wasn't nice either. She was also selfish and mean. This hurt me emotionally. I basically closed myself off from my family. Only participating in meal times. I became quiet and studious. This also matured me early. I learned that the world is a harsh cold place that only wants to beat you down and make you freeze. I understood that, so I fought back discreetly. I analyzed everything, I wrote down everything. I became a deep person who with words would make a person cry tears of joy or pity at whim. I was basically a character of quiet planning and no emotion. I'd lost part of myself during those few years of my childhood when I thought nothing would get better for me. Then we moved houses.

After we moved, I got a little hope back. ( this is when I started to watch anime biggrin ) I met some friends, two other girls who seemed very nice and accepting. I stayed friends with them for two years. I was very happy during those years. I made a tight friendship between the people in my neighborhood. But, then one of my friends, one of the girls, betrayed me. I was confused on why she did so. So I tried to confront the conflict and solve it, like I'd learned to from watching my brother and sister fight. ( I thought it was foolish by that point and thought we should just get along ) Yet, she would not forgive me even after I apologized for what I didn't know that I did. The other girl, that I was close friends with, went to the other girl's side. I was confused and angry at that point. Yet, I contained myself and just cut myself off from them ( you thought that I was going to say "cut myself" didn't you! Puh, I would never resort to such a foolish act of self destruction! No offence to those of you who do ). We stayed in that house for one more year, and that year was sad for me. Then we moved again.

The house we moved to is the house we currently live in. At this house, I was still a bit sad, yet after the move I gained a little hope once again. I gained two more friends after moving again. One a boy, one a girl. I was the center and the glue for these two friends. They were childhood friends and they were slowly growing apart, so I became glue for them. I found a group of friends at school for accepted me for my entire person, even the anime lovin' crazy girl. I became happy, very happy. I felt whole. ( I know this sounds cliche but, hey, can't I have a happy ending too blaugh ) I am still friends with those people, and my life is a lot better. My siblings are somewhat civilized and I'm a lot stronger because of them. I've come out of phase of dark, quiet planning. I am now a mature, radiant, ray of moon light.

私は魂が私には晴れやかな線になることが失わ手招き月の光をしています。
( I am the moon light that beckons lost souls to become radiant rays that are me. )