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Hey~read the entry before this, please. whee

Just some stuff I wanted to get off my mind before I go to bed.
4laugh I just watched Mulan on Disney Channel and it rocked~! 4laugh

A while ago as I was doing my usual newbie helping thing, I recieved an odd PM from this kid who frequented the WtG(Welcome to Gaia) forum. He was thanking me for being so nice to the new kids and hoping that I stay there for a while because they 'needed more people like me'. I laughed at the idea.

Ever since I joined Gaia back in August of 2003 (thanks to the link on JBlades Ronin Warriors website wink ) I have been helping out newb's. I remember way, way back to the days when the 'Introduce Yourself to Gaia' thread was still in the General Discussion. 3nodding I remember Quess, the really nice guy with the super cute ava and the Cheese Muffins. I was so inlove with him xd I asked him to claim me and I claimed him (back when claiming people was the 'in' thing) and it was so awesome back then. 3nodding Then Quess moved on, and when he left so did I. Wow I miss those simpler days...

Anyway, the kid who had thanked me for being nice to the newbs was named AmpMan. xd Hella cool name, well, he thanked me and I moved on with my life. I rarely ever go into WtG unless I'm really bored or something since its so spammed up now its sickning. And then you have those 'Glory Hogs' in there telling all the newb's their threads are in the wrong place. sweatdrop Its so sad.

I forgot about Amp, until the other day in school I saw his big ol' thread in WtG. And it said he had a journal so I took the liberty to read it. He seemed...eh....sad. So I wanted to help. I made some comments on his entrys, just to see his responce and stuff. Unfortunaltly, he didn't repond to anything I said sad and I felt like such a loser for thinking I could help someone and it brought somethings to light in my mind.

For one, I noticed that with some people I don't really care about them until I think I will lose them. Secondly, I realized how jealous I am of those people who make those big threads that last a long while. And finally, I realized how jealous I am of those people with tons of friends.

I really didn't care to much for Amp till I read he was sad, was ignored once when I tried to help and then became persistance to help. I quit now though, unsuscribed to his journal since he isn't on my friends list. I'm not like that with everyone I know, but for some people...it just, doesn't hit me how important they are to me till I am on the verge of losing their friendship. sweatdrop Amp and I really didn't have a freindship though, but still. I would have been thrilled to be his friend.

I wish I could make a post which many people liked and read. One that people subscribe to. Posts like that mean you have friends. Something I think I have become intrested in.

I wish I had tons of friends. sad I'm a shy and pretty reserved person, they're is only like...20 ppl on my Gaia's friendslist but I only actively talk to 2 or 3 of them. I wish I had a s**t load of friends, and I want to help them all with their problems and make everyone feel better.

Its like on Ragnarok. I don't have any friends their except Shadow (who can't play because his .exe is messed up and he needs to reinstall it), and Kev. When they aren't on I hate playing because its so boring. Just like on Gaia. I used to be on everyday but I lost contact with some vital friends and now I'm so bored with it. I'd like to have many friends, that way I wouldn't feel so alone like I do now...anything to cover up this sadness I feel.

And some people commenting in my journal wouldn't hurt either. wink

But I don't know how one goes about making friends. And there is no one nice enough to help me...I guess I wil just have to be alone...

I have a friend on Gaia, his names Joker. He's really cool and nice and stuff 3nodding Been on Gaia (as long as me or almost as long as me sweatdrop ), and its like...cool to have his friendship. But he can't get on Gaia as much anymore just like Onii-san can't nor Jblade. Its like all my friends are to busy for this and I feel like a kid left behind because I couldn't keep up.

::sigh:: I wish I had friends...