So it took every ounce of my strength today at the occupation not to jump over the counter and stab this Vanilla Ice teenaged wannabe gold chain wearing f*cker. I saw his bleach blonde girlfriend laughing and his dumb jaw flapping and I could only wonder what diaherrea of the mouth spewed out. If it weren't for the bottle of expesinve over priced Lipton, the ticking clock, and the nervous wait for an overdue answer back from a poor tasting joke on a cell phone text, I might have acted. Been 15 minutes, I hate when that happens, especially if it is from someone you actually give a sh*t about, when really they probably just lost service or are doing unscrupulous dirty things that need no interruption for. And then you start to second guess yourself, think your screwed and you tell yourself your safe…until its been an hour or two.Which begs to question; Why do people answer phone calls when they do the nasty? Mind boggling. Also why are 90% of all redheads homely? Its like its in their blood not to give a crap about proper hygiene or for that matter, makeup. Myself and Florence and the Machine seem to be the only exceptions to the rule.
I also hate, which it so conveniently happened while I was writing this segment, to be interrupted just as you are about to begin something new. Anyways, I talked to my Alice today, turns out it is a computer problem, so now I feel like a real d**k for doubting her…I’m such a schmuck. On top of that in case you were wondering, I got a reply to that text… she explained she thought my racy joke was funny…like I could ever offend a Harley Quinn with humor =) silly me. Now that I am out of tea and its daring to run right through me until I relieve myself in the parking lot. Oh! I have made a startling revelation! I am a sick greedy b*****d, I also am a complete hypocrite and procrastinator and am also an Erotophobic, and I’m ok with it. Maybe that’s what makes it wrong. I also hate fat kids too, especially greedy ones that ask for more then one sample when they are holding one in their pudgy little hands.
I also HATE over obsessive church going parents that successfully brain wash their children into being mini mindless soldiers of God. They grow up as sad lonely timid dorks who don’t know how to live it up before they die, and sometimes they turn into sex starved serial killers! Randomly, speaking of serial killers I like to watch the people grab samples I put out, and pretend I poisoned them with arsenic so I could see how many people I’d kill, passes the time. By the way, I had this thought while standing behind a French bread rack and spying on people. Oh right! Speaking of which, well not really-Monkey Babies! Not to sound like a d**k but some babies are born looking like ugly monkeys with their hairy upper lips and uno brows. The Phenomena eludes me and I will get down to the bottom of this. Anyways, Ta ta for now…I need sleep! -Hatter
I also hate, which it so conveniently happened while I was writing this segment, to be interrupted just as you are about to begin something new. Anyways, I talked to my Alice today, turns out it is a computer problem, so now I feel like a real d**k for doubting her…I’m such a schmuck. On top of that in case you were wondering, I got a reply to that text… she explained she thought my racy joke was funny…like I could ever offend a Harley Quinn with humor =) silly me. Now that I am out of tea and its daring to run right through me until I relieve myself in the parking lot. Oh! I have made a startling revelation! I am a sick greedy b*****d, I also am a complete hypocrite and procrastinator and am also an Erotophobic, and I’m ok with it. Maybe that’s what makes it wrong. I also hate fat kids too, especially greedy ones that ask for more then one sample when they are holding one in their pudgy little hands.
I also HATE over obsessive church going parents that successfully brain wash their children into being mini mindless soldiers of God. They grow up as sad lonely timid dorks who don’t know how to live it up before they die, and sometimes they turn into sex starved serial killers! Randomly, speaking of serial killers I like to watch the people grab samples I put out, and pretend I poisoned them with arsenic so I could see how many people I’d kill, passes the time. By the way, I had this thought while standing behind a French bread rack and spying on people. Oh right! Speaking of which, well not really-Monkey Babies! Not to sound like a d**k but some babies are born looking like ugly monkeys with their hairy upper lips and uno brows. The Phenomena eludes me and I will get down to the bottom of this. Anyways, Ta ta for now…I need sleep! -Hatter
