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so.life. it's weird isn't it. one moment you find yourself head over heals( if people still use that expression) for a guy. the next month you forget bout him. then you go to family camp and meet some awesome guys. two you find out are jerks. but anyway....

so there are two left that you still really really like. right. theres a savenger hunt and they are both on your team. you like them equally right then. then there's a paper and you have to find books of the bible in the sentence. and you are sitting right next to Matt Holly ♥ and your both looking at the paper and you realize something. you like him a lot. and that the other guy hardly matters anymore. do you know what i mean? but yeah. he's awesome. the perfect guy, christian, nice, funny, cute, but i have no clue what his hobbys are......... all i know is his name and that he lives in Maryland. which sucks because i live in Illinois and will probably never see him again.

why me. next year at family camp (i go with horsegirlC97's family) will be horrible because he probably isn't going or is going a different week.

this sucks. I finally meet a guy who i actually hang out with, and .... he's in MD

oh yeah. so i have liked a bunch of guys because i will text them and then have the hugest crush on them. but then at school realize that its totally different in real life. its like they are all flirty flirty then at school. wow. i can't even talk to them and everything is different.

that's why the town i live in... guys suck. wow they are all preps or jock. the worst. i don't mind if a guy is athletic but all the guys in my school are so alike. there is no one like me. smart, a musician, calm, mature. i mean really are all guys retarded jerks now a days. well all but Matt... smile

i could right a bunch more on Matt or the stupid guys where i live. but this is getting long. but yeah. my life sucks

one more thing. pretty much all my friends live in town. i live in a tiny neighborhood right outside of town, but yeah i never get to see any of them except for horsegirlC97. cause they live to far away......

yeah. my life. a complicated, simple, mess, of unhopefullness... smile