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Chapter one: Numb~Kaylen
His iron fist made contact with my stomach and I spewed blood from my busted mouth. I hunched over holding my midsection waiting for whatever was to come next. In that moment I could practically feel heavens lights an on me for my step-dad only pushed me into the hall table and told me to get ready for school. Instead of doing as told straight away I had to sit there staring at the pale peach wall wondering when they’d stop moving so much. Eventually I stood hissed while putting pressure on my left foot which he gleefully stepped on. Just barely making it up the stairs I headed toward the bathroom, limping slowly having been in so much pain. Hot water engulfed me as sound as I stepped into the shower. At first it hurt then it relaxed my muscles and my bruises began to get used to the water hitting them. As I washed myself I thought of my mother, some part of me resented her for dying and leaving me with my step loser. However another part of me, the more logical part, couldn’t be mad at her for slowly dying of cancer in her stomach. Still it burned me up inside to k now I would be stuck with him until I went off to college. He came home every night drunk and with a prostitute. He even had the nerve to ask if I wanted one once. Since she died he has treated me like a slave and wife wrapped in one. I cook, clean, and work after school to help support the two of us. I wash, run errands, nurse him when needed, and try to be perfect in everything so as not to upset him. When he is angry he beats me and sometimes he rapes me. I try to fight him but unfortunately I am short, thin, and I have never been very strong. I hated him with passionate fury and I’d do anything to leave. I slithered out of the shower, and made the seemingly long hike to my room. As soon as I was in my personal sanctuary I breathed in deep calming myself form the mornings beating. With tired eyes I take in my bed holding up a splatter of black sheets, Midnight walls dressed in assorted posters ranging from Linkin Park to Souxsie and the banshees. Clumsy pale feet staggered over to my closet and a scarred hand pulled out the first touched; a red avenged sevenfold shirt with black jeans and red and white checkered vans. After dressing bruised skin I went to the mirror. Orchid eyes looked at a pale, frail body. Sighing at the ugly image in the mirror I picked up a brush and started brushing it through my curly hair. I thought back to the times when I’d sit in doctors’ offices for hours at a time trying to figure out why my eyes were purple instead of brown or something. They never got the answer and after so many years they have finally given up on it. My mom used to tell me it was alright I was just special and it used to make me feel so good about myself now I just feel like a freak of nature. An accident. Something that should have never been. Releasing that memory I focused on braiding my hair and getting it under a black skull cap. I absolutely hated my hair but the step loser wouldn’t let my cut it for whatever reason, probably just to anger me. Doing a once over myself I grabbed my ‘I <3 Gir’ messenger bag I hurried as fast as I could down the stairs trying not to miss my bus.
“Kaylen!” A highly shrilled voice called out while the source ran up to me in the hallway. “Hi”
“Laila, what have you been told about rounding in the school house?” I joked quietly making sure no one but her hear me speak.
“Not to.” She said in a rush then gave me an I-have-exciting-news look.
“What’s up?’ I inquired expectantly.
“I am going to Mary-Ann’s party with Tobias tomorrow!” She said her voices going an octave higher and higher with each word; I could tell she was deliriously happy.
“Awesome. Now is he a good boy or do I have to give a parental style stern talking to?” I teased.
“He’s good.” Her reply came with a giggle.
“That’s what he wants you to think...”
“Kay how bout you let down at the hair hide and come to the party with me?” She asked cautiously knowing I would like her request.
“No.” I said absently not allowing the thought of a party to even rent space in my head.
“Awe why not? It’ll be so much fun I promise. Please? For me?” I turned away for her puppy stare and walked to my class, refusing to let her talk me into it. Slipping into my geometry class I took my seat in the farthest corner away for all the sophomores. It was bad enough I was a freshman in a sophomore class, but then I had to be a freshman in the sophomore class full of the stuck rich kids who liked the laugh at the poor. Great, right? Just what I always wanted. I sighed then closed my eyes blocking out all of their mindless chatter. Another day, maybe I’ll get lucky and get hit by a bus. Reaching into my pocket I pulled out a used mp3 player I bought recently with extra money I earned at work. Black earphones slid onto my head and Linkin Park blasted into my ears stealing me away for the classroom.
Numb
Verse: I tired of being what you want me to be. Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. I don’t know what you’re expecting of me. Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.
Pre-chorus: (Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) Every step that I make is another mistake to you. (Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Chorus: I’ve become so numb; I can’t feel you there, become so tired so much more aware. I’m becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.
Verse: Can’t you see that you’re smothering me. Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control. Cause everything that you thought I would be is falling apart right in front of you.
Pre-chorus: (Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) Every step that I take is another mistake to you. (Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow) And every step that I make is more than I can take.
Chorus: I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware. I’m becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you.
Verse: And I know, I may end up failing too. But I know, you were once like me with someone disappointed in you.
Chorus: I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware. I’m becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. I’ve become so numb (I’m tired of being what you want me to be). I’ve become so numb (I’m tired of being what you want me to be).
*I kind of like the start to this story but i will only finish if i get a comment*
 -Mister Grell Sutcliff- · Sat Jan 14, 2012 @ 02:06am · 0 Comments |
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