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I messaged him with a huge and long and probably agonizing speel about how I feel. I told him things that I have not told anyone else. Things about me that... will probably turn him away. Hence the fact that I am A ******** Idiot.

He'll see how much of a damaged piece of nothing that I am and not want anything to do with me anymore. I had to tell him though. Those thoughts were eating me inside. I feel better about telling him... But I also feel terrible. He's going through some s**t too... And I had the gall to bombard him with stuff.

We'll see how things go...