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So, I lost my best friend the other day, but let's get on that topic later. I'll start where I left off last time.

(I started this entry months ago. In December, actually. I just haven't finished.)

Well, I'm No longer interested in Toni. In fact, I'm back with my last girlfriend. I mentioned her last time, but not her name. I'll tell you about her in a bit. First, I'd like to start to tell you about "The Four". The dream I grew up with, the people that made it happen, how it flourished, and how it fell.

I had a dream when I was a little kid. It was a goal that I was set on. It was a group of four. The vision in my head was this. Here's another story, slightly modified, of course, same reading style as the last story.

There he was, just a kid. He hasn't done too much in his life, enough to get by though.
There are three people with him, their faces blurred. It doesn't matter who they are, I suppose. All that matters is that they're all there.
On his left side, there's his girl. On his right side, his brother and best friend. The four of them don't do too much, but they have a lot of fun, always smiling and laughing. Those kids just don't have a care in the world. A whole society around them, but they're happy just being with one-another.

First there's me. You know me. Well, if you're the one person I'm writing this for.

Then I met the other three.

Technically, Toni was first. I met her through Kris. (Kris is an old high school friend of mine.) I was in a bad place then. I was actually considering suicide. Hanging out with her and Kris made me feel so much better. I didn't get to know her very well till later, though.

Then I met Corey. (Also through Kris.) After hanging out a few times, we became fast friends. eventually, we were hanging out all the time. It wasn't long before we were best friends. Seriously, I considered this guy my brother. When the Fall semester came around at the college and He brought me along, that had to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I met a lot of good friends there, Including my love. I also got to know Toni better.

Her name is Erica, and I may be a fool, but I'm madly in love with her. February 26th was six months. Well, kinda. Our second month, we weren't really together, but we still count that month. (Man, was that a fiasco or what? I'll explain later.) I'm proud of how we started dating, actually, this was the only relationship that I've actually put planning (scheming, really.) into effect. you see, at the time, I wasn't the only one interested in her. Kris was too, and our friend Donn. There was a group of us to start out with. Let's see if i can remember. (you won't know some of these names, they're not important, really.) There was me, Erica, Corey, Toni, Kris, Donn, and Lex. I'm not sure who else, if any. Lex ditched us early in the day, Toni left later for some event. I had met Erica a few days before and decided I was interested. Anyway, back to the all-nighter, yeah, all-nighter. I forget who's idea that was. Some time during the day, I had noticed Kris and Donn taking interest. I couldn't have that. I decided to pit them against each other. It was so simple! I just had to find something that they'd argue over and make themselves look bad. I thought for a bit, then I had it. It was perfect. They were both real big into the "Bro Code" (What a crock of s**t.) I planted the seed with a simple comment about that damned bro code. At first, nothing, but later that night, they noticed each other's interest in Erica. (Nobody noticed my interest, I hadn't said a word about it, I wasn't even getting close to her yet.) After that, all I had to do was watch the fires burn as they made complete asses out of themselves.Corey went home at this point, He had work the next morning. Now here's the part I didn't expect. while They were squabbling, Erica started to take interest in me. Later, when the four of us that were left, me, Erica, Kris, and Donn, went to her house at like 1:00 or 2:00 to get some shut eye, she was doing the whole pretend-to-be-asleep-while-slowly-inching-closer thing while we were all watching a movie. (Kris snores like a beast, by the way.) To the bro-code thumpers dismay, We were dating within two days after that.

"The Four" became a thing soon after that. Corey and I were already hanging out practically every day, all day. Then Toni started hanging out with us a lot. (Corey and Toni had a bit of a sexy phase. I was in the room once when they had sex. They thought I was asleep.) Then Erica came in. Things went great for a while. It was the four of us all the time. It actually started to fall apart pretty fast.Erica and I started to have relationship issues, Toni started being distant, and it was just me and Corey for a while. there's a lot of in-between things, so I'll get that done before I go into how The Four died.

Before that, though, I need to introduce another person. Matt. I just ooze with hatred for this guy, I didn't, but now I do. you'll see why. I knew Matt in high school. He's a few years older than me and he's absolutely pathetic. He's the lost puppydog type, that s**t is SO annoying. He's always moping about how his crotch doesn't get enough attention, and he'll brown-nose like no tomorrow to get it. He's also a total whore. I hadn't seen him for ages, and the second he showed up, I knew there was going to be issues.

First. Erica and I were having serious issues. There was about a month that she really wanted nothing to do with me. Then, when we began to fix things, she told me something I almost couldn't believe.

While she was not having anything to do with me. (we were kind of on a break, kind of not together, but we still count it as part of our relationship) She, Toni, and Matt had been having... relations. I'll spare the details. Now, there's a few reasons why I had a serious problem with this. (I still can't help but think about it sometimes.)
One: We were still kind of together.
Two: Her reason for it was that "she was stressed, she needed a friend, and things got out of control. (You were stressed? I'm sorry, but that's not a good enough reason for me.)
Three: Toni, as I found out, the one who started it, was the one who promised me that sort of thing wouldn't happen. I was feeling uncomfortable about Matt being at Erica's so much. (at this point nothing had happened yet.) Because of that, Toni took it upon herself to assure me that nothing would happen, and started going over there to make me feel better. I had no idea what was actually happening.
Four: I told Erica the second Matt showed up, that he was bad news. Apparently, she didn't listen.

When she told me this, I immediately forgave her. I just wanted things to be fixed. Toni was a little more difficult to forgive, it took some time, but I realized something. Something about Toni that I hadn't thought about before. With the class of people that Toni was always friends with, everyone is expendable to everyone. you get a friend, see something you don't like, then drop them. Instead of being angry with her, I decided to show her that she's not expendable. She was scared of me being angry at her, so I had to hunt her down, When I did, I told her that she wasn't a disposable friend, and that I forgave her as well. She was really surprised, she was not expecting that at all. Matt's a different story. I won't ever have respect for him. I feel he took something from Erica that was mine, and that's not something i'm ever going to forgive.

Corey. What a piece of work. A pompous a**-hole to the core. After six months of being best friends, he drops me like a rock over a single argument. I should've seen it coming, too. for a couple months, I saw it. He was getting more and more full of himself, developing one hell of a superiority complex. He started judging people more, while ignoring his own flaws. He started to hyper-analyze things, picking things apart far beyond what they actually were. One day I made a comment about it, and he started getting way over defensive, then he seemed to let it go. The next day, I decided that The Four needed to address some issues so that they got taken care of and out of the way. This was after I forgave Toni, and I felt that I was still spitting too much acid, that got resolved. Then I tried to bring things up that were causing tension between me and Corey, so that they could get solved. There, he took serious offence and accused me of not letting things go. We had our first real yelling fight right there, and at the end of it, we shook hands and I thought it was over. We all made plans to hang out the next day. Everything was good. Right? Wrong? The next day, he texted me, telling me to ******** off and get out of his life. (In a lot more words) That was it. Our friendship ended right there.

That killed The Four. The Four was supposed to be based on the friendships of all of us as one on one, and all together. Take one out, the whole thing dies. He single-handedly killed my hopes and dreams. I even tried to text him yesterday, three months later, to see if I could try to patch things up. I received nothing but hostility.

Then it was time to leave. Erica's mom needed her help back in their hometown. Finances were troubling, and she needed help around the house. I got invited to come along. Why not? I'd get to be with Erica more, it was temporary, and if I didn't, I was going to be homeless. So we left.

We hit a lot of ups and downs while we were there. I almost destroyed our relationship because I was too lazy to handle my s**t with the GED I was supposed to get while I was up there. On top of being impossible to communicate with. Things got so bad with finances that I had to be moved back, they'll be coming down too, in about a month.

Now I'm at David's for a little while, not sure where I'll be after this, but I try not to worry. Anyways, holy s**t, finally up to date. I'll try to update more often to avoid so much work at once, but in the meantime, s**t happens.

See you next drama.

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