7-25-13
So I have been on a destructive streak for the past two weeks or so. I have slept around, smoked, drank, and partied. I'm trying to make up for all the lost time before I go on to college and crack down on life. But this one particular person keeps popping into my mind. A person that has been waiting five years for me to be with him. And finally I was with him..for a night. In all those five years I have loved this man. But I was to blind to be with him. I kept putting him off and dated other guys. But for some reason this summer I couldn't get my mind off of him. So him and I made plans to hang out. We didn't think anything would happen. I'm glad something did happen. The problem is he and I are in two different relationships. I am completely ready to give up on the one I am dating for him. After all he has been waiting five almost six years to be with me. But I have a gut retching feeling he would not be willing to be break up with the one he is seeing. I wish I could tell him how I truly feel about him. But I am terrified of getting hurt again. Every time I see a picture with him and his girlfriend my heart breaks a little more. I wish I was the girl he was holding or kissing. I just wish I had had chosen him oh so long ago when I had the chance...
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