Sometimes I might push people away. I might say things I don't mean. I might even just disappear.. To disappear. Not like the world would stop If I did. It would keep on going. Without a thought of where I went. I might not want to admit this.. But loneliness is an asskicker. I use to think maybe me being happy all the time was the way I truly was.. but I think about it and realize.. Im not happy at all. That smile everyone sees is just a mask I wear. No one really understands me, shoot they don't even know me. Im only good enough a person to know because I.. Im.. just a pawn. When someone needs a lift.. I do that for them.. or try.. Even though I love Klas so much and my friends so much.. I cannot bare to trouble them with this sooo phucked up existence that is my life.
Then I look at the window..
and wish I could just fly out into oblivion.
The dark cool night surrounding me.
Taking me in..
making me feel welcomed. then turn..
to another wall where I'm imprisoned
and cannot make any such escape.
Oh god..
detachment..
sleep never comes
when I need it.
I plea..
within these four walls I plea
for sanity.
Let me go let me go let me go..
Im dying inside.
Im crying
scratching
fighting to stay alive..
but still Im dying.
These four walls
My tomb..
casket..
My misery.
Or are these walls
just me?..
~me.
 ll trouble ll · Sat Aug 10, 2013 @ 06:19am · 0 Comments |
