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She is in my every waking thought. Sometimes those thoughts will creep into my dreamland, invading and causing havoc. Her beauty attacks my feelings and pulls my heart strings so hard, it feels like a heavy metal song is playing in my chest. She is the reason I feel like I'm important, like I matter. To have her in my life, I don't feel insignificant, I feel like I can do something better with my life instead of being my mothers slave.
When I see her snapchats, I get all happy, my heart jumps a little. Her texts bring a smile to my face. When I get that notification from Tumblr or facebook that she liked/reblogged something from me, especially if its something about her, I can never stop smiling.
Sometimes, I'll catch myself thinking about her and I try to clear my head and do whatever thing I've been procrastinating about.
Every love song I sing a long to reminds me of her, mostly her eyes, her smile, and when she kisses me.
I just miss her so much. I want to hold her in my arms. I want to walk to her house when the urge occurs. My heart actually aches in my chest when I think about how far apart we are.
I'm clingy, impulsive, and impatient. She feels so perfect to me, with her imperfections, her insecurities, her personality, her artistic abilities, her beauty. God, she's the whole package. I don't even care that she's religious. I call her my princess but I want to turn her into a queen. She really deserves it. And I deserve her. After all the bullshit I have gone through, all the crap she has to keep a secret from her family, we deserve it. I want to give her everything, even though she'd rather buy me all the things in the world.
I am so scared though. I am so scared I will push her away by doing things too soon. I'm scared to say that I am in love with her, even though we've already said "I love you". I'm scared she will say "slow down there" and help me calm down. I'm scared that 1 year will be too soon for even a promise ring. I'm scared to make that commitment, I mean what if she rejects it? I'm so scared.
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