There is nothing more hilarious (or frustrating to watch) than my husband trying to cook something. He will use like a million utensils, a million plates and some really weird stuff that has nothing to do with cooking to make something simple, like a grilled sammich. Since I'm in the play this week, he's had to cook almost everyday now, and it's not always pretty. He has to expand his repotoire beyond fried sandwiches and bacon.
CASE IN POINT: Mac and Cheese.
First of all lets point out that Joe is unaware that there are more than one settings on the stovetop. He thinks the only one is "HIGH." After putting way too much water in larger pot than he needs and dumping the noodles in (you're supposed to wait until the water boils,) he plunks it on the smallest burner and then WALKS AWAY.
He does this twice, each time I inform him that he is not allowed to put something on the stove and not watch it. Fires have started in households because water was left to boil (I'm not kidding.)
He finally brings a chair into the kitchen area and reads a book. Of course, he gets so engrossed by his book, that he fails to hear the water boiling. By the time I tell him, half of the water is boiled away, and the noodles are tacky and soft. He uses two different spoons to stir the water. He then drains the noodles in our rice rinser-not the colander, and burns himself in the process.
So far so-sort of-good. Now we come to the cheese sauce. Joe has already placed two cups next to the stove. This is unusual forsight, for Joe, but note that afterwards, he fails to do anything with the cups, leaving me to put them in the dishwasher. He does the same with the rice strainer. He dumps the noodles onto a very flat plate, leaving water to drip under the microwave.
While he applies burn ointment to his hand, the pot, now thankfully off the glowing red burner it was on, was grown stone cold. Joe tries to make the sauce in the stone cold pan. He wonders why the butter isn't melting. He pokes and prods it with two more spoons (this time from the silverware drawer) and a barbeque spear. He tries it on the very hot burner next to him and the butter starts to smoke, while the milk curdles. Confused, he empties the sauce into cappuccino mug and zaps it for 3 minutes in the microwave!! Its still all curdled and weird looking.
"Monica, there must be something wrong with the cheese powder!" he calls to me. Surveying the damage, and a million dirty dishes which I know I'm gonna end up washing. (I do.) Turn the burner down to "LO" and finish making the sauce, pouring it over the noodles and stirring. I had to get a new spoon, because Joe couldn't remember what he did with ther 4 he had already used. Eventually we had mac and cheese in some form or another.
Good Grief.
I think I'll ask for pancakes for supper tonight. Joe's pretty good at those...as long as he doesn't insist on making them in a pool of bacon grease. cheese_whine
Abbey Rhode Community Member 
|
|
