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i've lost the book, i'll find it soon.
i think i wrote it, it's in my handwriting...
I'll have to look for it more.
[edit] I have yet to find it in the litter in the boxes from which i have moved...
but recently i remembered where i put an old diary... well... i dont keep diaries...it's a journal...
i cant type what is in it, because i cant goddamn read it!
my handwriting in japaneese is better than my handwriting in english, always has and always will be. So, anyways i was totally shocked to realize that it aparently has improved compared to when i was 10. i'm 15 now, and never really did a substansial diary from day to day. just wrote when i felt like it.
I guess i'm that sort of person, i act upon what i feel like doing, not on what is scheduled. So every morning, when that goddamn alarm clock literally screams at me to get the hell up, I SMASH IT'S GODDAMN SNOOZE BUTTON!
and ten minuites later i do it again... and again...and again....and again...
i can do this a max of 10 times, i figure that by the 10th time i'll feel like getting up instead of pushing a button. And actually that's usually the case.
After i get up, which is usually by the fourth or fith snooze, it'll be soo goddamn early that i got nuttin' to do. So usually i'll do some homework i was too lazy to do, or i'll like get on gaia. That will explain the weirdness that makes you go
"HE WAS UP 'TILL FIVE IN THE MORNING WHEN I WENT TO SLEEP AT EIGHT?!"
I hate having soo many things left missing... i'm a very forgetful person, and sometimes i want to remember my mindset from the past. In fact, i dont remember much from when i was a kid, just unexplained pictures in my mind that come up whenever i hear an old rock song... I have a photographic memory that correlates sounds and images... No i dont, i'd wish i did, but yeah, if i hear a song i'll remember s**t. that's just me...
Very few people are going to read this, well...mabey my master, Hi master!
oh, for those of you who didn't read my profile and went "Oh, his profile is too big and obvious, i think i'll skip right to his journal to find out about him", i'm not explaining anything, hit the goddamn back button and start reading about me, or bug off... the profile is there so that you wont be reading a journal without knowing things about me...and the journal is there to clear up anything you dont know about the person before posting something in thier profile.
Anyways, if you didnt already realize...or deduce it, i have a terrible memory.
Short term memory of a goldfish, and memory that's based off music...
It explains my terrible homework grades, and the reason my test scores are soo high is because i'm always listening to music in my head. Music makes my head work, in fact the whole reason i remember that i have school is from that alarm clock, if i turn it off before i go to sleep, i do not have school the next day. And if i do not have that alarm clock on, i will not go to school. I'll still get up at like 6:30 AM, but i wont go to school, i'll go directly to the computor and start doing s**t.
God, i digress... anyways, a good chunk of the stuff i knew back then i dont know now, i forgot a good chunk of last year this year, and last year's last year was a blur until i heard music from weird al. So if you want me to remember something in a really long time later, but you want me to forget it, gimme a music link, and tell me not to bookmark it, and tell me to delete the message, and tell me to delete my history of it. then tell me something. If you do that, you'll plant a seed in my head, and later when you bring up the link, you'll cause that seed to poke me in the arm and realize it's there and that i should probably do something about it. Yes, i just used a meaphore and ******** it up into a joke. i feel great now. notice how it's not in caps...
Realizing this, you must therefore ask yourself how i remember who the hell i am. Honestly, how do you remember who you are? i think it's a similar situation. Every time i do english homework i start wondering about primative man, and how he started correlating words with objects, and how it slowly evolved into an advanced language, and how that advanced language slowly became a big p***k that liked to force me to suck on it every time my english teacher wanted me to do a writing assignment. Then the bell for Gym class rings, and i go "Oh crap! i only got 2 more class periods to do this s**t!".
I never do my english homework, too boring. I do science homework, math homework, even homework i make up [no, i dont do homework i make up...] Who the hell was that!?... Anyways my concious took form awhile back, it's voice went very loud, and then my concious realized that it was ******** up, and created a conciounce. and so on and so forth until i got 'bout four guys [and two girls] having a nice little conversation in my head. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and someone will say "A/S/L? wanna Mental?" and then i'll scream "STOP ******** IN MY HEAD!"
Alright, so mabey i dont have six people in my head having a nice little conversation, but sometimes my thoughts start splitting... i guess it's a self defence mechanism designed to see both sides of the story before i say something retarted and get my a** kicked by someone. Whoah....no it isnt... if i say that some chick is gunna come to me and go "YOU'RE NOT EVOLVED SINCE THERE IS NO EVOLUTION" and i'll go "WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? POKEMON WAS A GOOD GAME!" and then things start getting weird...
What the hell was i talking about?... damn it! i just lost my memory span and i'm like "Looks like i'm typing, imma read what i typed awhile back to figure out what i was typing and then type s'more" and then i go "crap, i'm out of breadsticks... wait... i had none to start with..." wait a sec... i bet if i rewind the music player by one song i'll remember what i was typing about...
Right, so anyways i like to add humor to my writing, but honestly it kinda sucks for humor. I could never become a stand up comedian, i'm too lazy to improve my skills in comedy. I am, on the other hand, a good mathmetician.
i cant do mental math for reasons unkown to me, but when it's on paper i'll realize it eventually. Why? i dunno...music in my head doesnt move fast enough... only have a [Previous] button, and a [Next] button in there. But it's not visably a previous or next button, it's a mental idea. I have no pictures in my mind, i cant visualize s**t... Someone goes "Imagine, a world without sunlight" i'll go
"Describe it" and they'll go "IT'S A GODDAMN JOKE YOU ********! IT'LL BE DARK AND YOU CANT SEE s**t SO THAT YOU COULD'NT IMAGINE IT!" then i'll be like "I love it when you yell at me" and then they'll be like "******** you!" then i'll go "How hard?" then they'll hit me, and i'll moan, then they'll hit me harder, and i'll moan, then they'll start beating the s**t out of me, and slowly they'll realize i have a hardon, then they'll realize i'm a masochist, then she'll drag me into the girl's bathroom and she'll rape my unconcious body.
And that's how i lost my virginity.