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Yea...so....
::sigh:: Guess what? I've been talking with Shadow since I got back from dinner with my mom. We went out, as a late birthday thing. He just left...
We actually talked, and he asked me to be his friend again. Personally, I was shocked; but yes~call me cocky but I expected this to happen. More like hoped, I don't say expect because I don't expect anything to happen. I'm to sleepy to go back and delete that now....Well...... It was akward. At the end of our chat I mentioned something that made him not want to be my friend. I don't know what it was, I'm sleepy as hell...I probably won't even remember typing this tommrow. I said something though, and he was like-"Okay, maybe were not 'friends'. My heart wants to be your friend but I don't want to. So were kinda friends, I'll contact you if I care."
Its always like that. I hate it when a boy talks so degradinly to me. Why do I stand it? Over somone who is still pondering if he likes me o rnot.
He was sad yesterdya and sent me a radom message. I did waht I could to just let him vent out his feelings today and at the end of the day I find myself exactly where I was last week. No where where any good comes from.
I'm pciky about what I say. One wrong word could mean the end of this.
Why do I want to be his friend again? I don't know...all I know is I will never hurt anyone else like taht ever again. The way I did him...its so bad, I hate myself for hurting him like I did. Yea, Onii-sa, this is one of those reasons I hurt myself.
I have "Red vs Blue" on DVD's~friggin rocks.
Tommrow, after my meetings and all, I'ma finish my homework.
I missed Onii-san today, like, when he got online...I think i did atleast...
I need to sleep...
I missed Sephy too. He had to go to work though. Sephy's so cool~he's an uberhawtie who works out everyday and stuffs heart He's so adoruably funny too.
I talked with Slasher. For...like...five minutes. Then he left. He's always so busy...can you really like someone when your always so busy?
Onii-san ish busy all teh time, but he still makes way to talk to me. Thats why I gotta meet him when I turn 18 (one of teh many reasons), devotin so much time to me like that. I keep thinkin though...I will have to wait until like next Thursday to get mail from him... gonk by then I'll be to busy playing DDR to pay attention. My life will like revolve around DDR =.= ....but for Onii-san time shall be made. whee heart I keep contemplatin over what he's gunna write to me, the damn suspence is killing me! He's like...'somethings I want to tell you that I've held back'. My gosh~! What teh hell am I suppose to think? gonk I'm like woah freakin teh hell~I'm just scared crying Like this'll be something so horribly bad...I mean, regardless of what it is I'ma still hang with meh Onii-san. He's just uber kewl like taht 3nodding We can watch cartoons and make great meals for teh everness~! 4laugh
I wasn't on RO again today sweatdrop I haven't had the time to.
...I wanna be tied up and sexually pleased till I can't take it anymore...
gonk That was random, I know~but so true 3nodding
Ah...yea, so maybe me and Shadow are friend, or maybe not. Until things cool down with him, I will not concider him my friend. 'cause as soon as I do and as soon as I'm hurt I know I'll fall back onto cutting. I don't want to cut...I ish really loved teh boy thuogh, I mean...numerous times when we went out back in Septemmber I'd put off talkin to Onii-san to talk to him. No one ish goes before awesome Onii-san so that was a damn honor scream
I am sooooo sleepy....and bouncy. I'm bouncing up and down and up and down~~~~~ish so bored. ::yawn:: I'ma eat an apple and take a nice, long, warm shower and go ni ni~!
Love me!!!! 4laugh heart
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