Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Have you ever had that happen where you were in a bad mood and honestly couldn't name a good reason why? I mean like everything just seems to be irritating and thing you would normally enjoy just don't seem as satisfying?

That happend to me this weekend. It started Friday...Hell you know I think this goes back as far as last friday. Moodswings, headaches and God forgive me, but I think I snapped at atleast a third of the people I talked to this week. Well to those people I appologise. What's worse is I feel to thick for not realizing what was really wrong w/ me. People asked me all weekend what was my problem and I felt stupid because I couldn't tell them. It was too embarassing to say to Chaos for instance that the sound of his voice was starting to get on my nerves much less his usual silly jokes. Hell I was ready to jump Kain for what was actually reasonable requests.

Okay guys I won't blame this entirely on PMS, but it sure as hell didn't help. No what was wrong w/ me was it was my mom's birthday this weekend. I was so depressed I got angry and frustrated at the slightest thing. And I'm warning you now this could only get worse. In November it'll be 2 years since she died and it's hard not to start crying even as I write this. I'm gonna be in a lot of foul moods, but I'm gonna try to get a grip on myself because I feel so ashamed for snapping at everyone.

If you're wondering why I didn't say anything like "Hey guys I might be extra sensitive so treat me like glass this weekend." Yeah like that's gonna happen. Tough luck for me despite my best efforts I ended up shattering into little pieces anyway and at the time I didn't know why. Dad reminded me yesterday about Mom's birthday. It hit me like a ton of bricks that even when I forget what day it is my instincts still tell me I should be depressed even if I don't know why.

To my friends I send all my love,
Yume