|
<center> I'm Changing
</center>
...since your here I guess you may be wondering what I mean.
I'm changing a lot...not physical but mentally I'm just...changing.
I don't know whats right or whats wrong anymore, I don't know my likes and dislikes, I don't know what I want to be anymore, I don't know what I want to do anymore. I just stare out into space, tiered as heck, and wishing it all would just go away...
All these stupid problems I have...its so stupid...and I can't even control these thing...it isn't fair...
My bank account is still overdrawn, my aunt said she would pay it off but apparently she hasnt'.
The only good thing that has happened is that my friend, as I have found out, is suppose to be goign out with someone else 3nodding thank god. I don't have to worry and fret anylonger about my creepy friend seriously liking me as something more. Someone in school today asked infront of me if he was going out with another girl and he said 'I don't know.' the bells chimed in my head and I got so giddy and excited the girl they were refering to wasn't me. whee whee whee I guess he just stares at me 'cause he's weird...geh...he does try to feel on me though, and touch me and be near me... xp I need to find out who his girl is ASAP and tell her to put his arse in check 3nodding
Did my chemistry presentation today, I got an A+++, literally sweatdrop My teach freaked out over how organized and prepared I was, and how I kept the class inorder with the promise of BlowPops after my presentation. 3nodding Friggin rocked.
No more RO for me until my lit project is complete. I'm writing a book about this girl whos a slave da-da-da I already explained this so read back if your intrested. 3nodding I'm kickin Gaia for a while too, the project is due on the 18th and I don't even have it planned out. Just chracter idea's and a simple plot that I don't like now so I have to start over crying its cool though
My grade in Algebra 2 dropped from 93% to 86.8%....I really need to focus in class, I need to understand this stuff. If I get a B in this class it'll crush me, I have to have an A. In literature my grade dropped too...I have a 91%, and I'm ranked 8 in the class of 24 sad Ish no fair...
My grades are dropping in my class's because of tests. I have 100% homeowrk in, 100% class work, and 100% participation points but just...bad grades on tests. I don't understand why I am having these problems now, I have aced all my tests in the past. Junior year is harder than I thought it would be. I remember when I was a wee little freshmen people said that freshman and sophmore year were the hardest; those were easy as hell and now I'm ajunior I'm so lost on how my 'perfect plan' in highschhool has been abruptly terminated.
I am still content though. Not screaming giddy, but I'm not sad or angry either. I get DDR ordered tommrow, I should have it by Thurday sometime but most likely I won't get it till Friday or Saturday because UPS is a buncha jerks and never deliever stuff to my projects. I can't blame them though...being hijacked by crackheads isn't something I would want to have to go through either. Lots of crackheads in this neighborhood...they scare me.
Thats besides thte piont though, I get DDR tommrow, my moms takin teh family out to eat, Kevin has something planned for me, I should get a letter I have been looking forward to tommrow, I get to be taken out to lunch with my mentor, and other splendid things I can't wait to do. Something to take my mind off this stress I have been feeling.
I'm so tiered now. I bet if I laid down I would sleep till 8pm (its 3:15pm my time right now). Its strange how I'm so sleepy now, but tonight when I go to bed I won't be able to sleep. I wonder whats wrong with me.
Its raining outside...its always raining...its suppose to be very warm tommrow; like 50 degrees. 3nodding Very warm for Ohio this time of the year, 3nodding . After taht it will snow. And continue snowing and freezing...
I can't think straight anymore...I can't think about anything really. My favorite movie is 'The Salton Sea', and I remember at the begning of it the main character was sitting down high off all sorts of drugs and his beer fell out of his hand. He like...just zoned out as the last of the beer trickled out of the bottle. I feel like that all the time, and I wish it would go away.
Me and my friends talked abotu comics, anime, and video games all day today. It was so cool to just finally be able to talk to all of them like that. Just a casual talk and nerdy arguing which I have to say made me happier than anything else I can think of this past week. I came to some conclusions abotu myself-I'm a nerd, yea, and you can kiss my nerd arse 'cause I'm happy to like naime and games and comics and talk openly about it. 3nodding If you don't like it then to bad, I know who I am in that sense and I like taht person alot. 3nodding
|
