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Scream
Well Ive had a great weekend so far *not counting the little children attack* but yea just got home from my G-moms house i miss her already now im claming down or trying to with Boys Like Girls, currently lising to "The Great Escape" . Wends is comming fast cant wait to see all my friends again. but theres something bothering me . 2 of my best friends cut. and thats one to many 4 me i cant take it i dont want them to cut but i know its their choice and all i can do is try and make them stop and try to be there for them when they need me but sometimes thats hard. I love them both 2 death and having them cut is like a slap in the face for me it says "i could die right now and not give a s**t about what you think or how you feel so deal with my death cuz i had to deal with these goddamned feelings and got no where" So i dont want to get so close to someone and have them taken out of my life because theirs was to hard or they couldnt take it. or in anypossible way i wasent their for them in which i try to be. I mean in this day and age ive thought about death, drowining myself, and i cried , cried beacuse i thought of them the people i loved if i died it would have been a selfish act. ive had a depression to the point where i felt traped,couldnt stop crying, rolling on the floor smaking myself against my dresser in hopes to feel pain while tears kept their fall i didnt know why it was happening and then i felt like that was the highest peak. i had no reason to cry or even feel anysource of depression but i did & i could'nt control it. I never want that to happen again not to me nor to anyone. So i say now scream. scream untill u cant breath anymore, scream untill all falls numb and motionless, scream so ur heart rushes faster and ur fingers tingle, scream so you have no control over your body and collapse to the floor, scream till colors fade and make no sence, scream untill all is broken and you r free.
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