<center> Sea of Emotions
Yea...thats me, today....
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This entry was meant to have been typed so much earlier...my cousin needed me to babysit and since I can't refuse the money since I am so very broke I took it up...I'm staying the night with the promise of being paid extra...
Today....today began good, and as I started to dwell on things it...my Career Center teacher gave me two 'A's...and some other grade he won't tell me. I was so close to a 4.0 and he just stole it away. He was my fave teacher....its like god damn, do you have to sleep with a friggin teacher to get an A? stare I refuse to stoop to such a friggin level. Well...after that things were ok. I went to Digital Photography and my teach bitched me out infront of the whole class...she asked for my opnion on something and when I offered it (since no one else would) she told me I was stupid and not creative at all...I don't speak much in school, I'm quiet..... I can't believe she did that to me...it was so uncalled for. She's goin through menopause or some s**t, but it doesn't give her a right to disrespect her students like that...its like if you don't friggin suck up to a teacher you won't get an A. stare I ******** hate public schools and I swear if I can move out early my a** is sooooooooooooo switch to ECot. scream stressed
My cousins are watchin 'Aladin', I love Disney movies...and Aladin is so damn hot for a cartoon chracter. He sounds just like Ryo from Ronin Warriors and I get all warm inside when I think of him...
I'm done trusting people, by the way...
See my pic up there? Thats me today. I was bored...when I'm bored I take pictures. wink
OMG~! Guess what? biggrin I got to hang with Travis today! He skipped his inschool suspension and went to class. surprised Was fun~! My friends are teasing me saying I like him 'cause I'm not pushing him away as before sweatdrop they're such idiots. blaugh They'res only one guy I am madly inlove with now, and that aint gunna change on account of any other person I know wink
PAIN
Psychic pain
caused by internal pressures
compounded by external forces
Pain, pain, pain
Spiritual pain
caused by a suffering humanity
compounded by faithless men
Pain, pain, pain
Physical pain
caused by brutality
compounded by oppression
Pain, pain, pain
Sexual pain
caused by pented up desire
compounded by prison bars
Pain, pain, pain
Mental pain
caused by isolation
compounded by insensitivity
Pain, pain, pain
There is a healing for all pain
-Nuh
I like that poem. 'cause its true, there is a healing somehow for all the pain I feel, I hope oneday I find it. This 'revelation', as a friend of mines tagged it, isn't what I thought it was. sweatdrop I mean, Yes whee suicide thoughts are gone, and I'm not as depressed anymore either....but they're still lots of bad feelings inside me that I can't quiet...conquer, or deal with. I'll be able to someday, just not yet as I thought.
::sigh:: I'm so weak. I try to be so tough, its jsut a stupid front though and no one really believes me anyway.....I try, though. whee
Gosh, my cousins house is loaded with food! I don't know where to start! ::drools:: I'm poor...and mom doesn't get much Foodstamps anymore so we never have anything good to eat. sweatdrop My cousin gets Foodstamps and WIC, though twisted I'm about to slam heart
I am very hurt and upset by Onii-san...I don't even know what to say here. I bought a notebook...maybe writing by hand will help me get over my writers block? I was stupid, though...I started writing and all I could think of was him, I trashed the notebook....out in the dumpster behind my house...I feel so...stupid for writing all that stuff I did...is hopeless romantic the correct terminology to use? I am so hopeless....
I didn't get to hang out with Trevor today on RO. My cousin picked m up at 4:30pm and didn't leave till 10:30pm....so I couldn't get online or anything. sad I didn't even get to say goodbye to him...::sigh:: Heh... redface he said he liked me 'cause I'm nice and sweet, 'cause I have my crazyness and I'm cute...hee hee~ heart redface
I talked with Savey(who is Savetyre for those who don't know...). Not much of a talk, he was mad 'cause the mods moved his Gaia topic and I guess just wanted me to help him 'cause afterwards he just got on Warcrarft and taht was teh last I heard sad
I talked to Sephy today too. He's goin home from vacation soon, and the girl he likes wants to talk to him when he gets back. She just broke up with her boyfriend (somethin he said sweatdrop ) and is talkin to him, now. sweatdrop ...I hope he just isn't going to be a rebound guy. sad
I wrote a poem today for class...I lost the paper I wrote it on though, so I can't post it here. sweatdrop I forgot it...
I'ma snag some food from the fridge twisted I'll be editing this as I see fit. heart
Here's an edit...
I'm going to bed, so expect no more edits.
I was reading my old PM's...sometimes Onii-san loves me so much, and it makes me feel so happy...other times I'm mad 'cause he can't spend to much time on me and so I feel left out. I wish I could be near him all the time, then this wouldn't make me feel so bad.
I'm mad at me...bye
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