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Well, since natalija decided to try and leave me, i have a few choices as to who i'll devote my life to...

There's a girl in DC, and although she's a good friend and very trustworthy, i just don't feel the connection i felt with natalija... mabey it's because we hardley ever talk on the phone, or mabey it's because of the fact that i'll probably never see her in my entire life since she's going to germany for college or something like that. she's usually taken my side, and cheered me up and stuff. And although that's good in a friend, i want a master who's always honest with me. even if i'm not always perfectly honest... more proof that master is superior... Another thing i see in her is a lack of sexual desire, that might be a problem for me in the future, but she's still a virgin so it'll grow... i see no point in cybering with someone if the female is not masturbating, and when we cybered back then she aparently kinda just went fishing... and i was an annoyance that just happened to be there... Another factor is that she flirts alot... but y'know, not much i can do to change that T.T

I could try and get natalija back, and that'd kinda make me feel better, but i knew i could never truly trust her ever again... i hate girls who lie about things that are important, like what they like, and what they want me to do... even if it means hurting me...
I was willing to give up everything for her, and actually began doing so... so perhaps i just want a master... wait... that's exactly it... lol.

There are a few girls on the internet, each of these girls i've known for awhile...

There's one in some part of Florida, she's a tad clingy but i love that in a girl. and i can trust her because she's african-american. She thinks alot more than i do, and i want a master who's intellectually superior... Aparently earlier in life she was raped by one of her good friends who had was aparently drunk off jack daniels... now when i talk with her i just try to get her over that... and talk about thoughts and stuff... i don't really feel that i could approach her because she's a tad sensative, it's not a problem... i just don't want to hurt her... And recently she's been telling me that she couldn't perform the ritual of claiming... well, people change ^^.
in fact, if I make her evil, her powers will make it so that i don't need a ritual of claiming... girls who think as much as she does... they can be turned evil. and if they think THAT much, they can get powers from it... like i once did...

There's this one girl in Nevada. She actually has her eyes set on this one person she knows online from New York, but she might change her mind and go with me. She's been stalking me for quite some time, and i love stalkers... she's a rather fun person... her only flaw is that she's with someone else, but i hope that she'd break up with him. Locationwise she's the one who's closest.

Then there's the evil girl. This girl would be the perfect master if she only lived in this country. She lives in australlia, actually. which i find rather sweet...
she has no boyfriend, is really really clingy, really promiscuous [she masturbated over the phone to my voice just yesterday!] and really wants to be my master...
She actually begun thinking recently, and she's becoming really really philosophical. but with distance comes distrust, i have very little proof of her gender, age, ect. And there's no real way for me to meet her T.T
But, she did say that she would go through the ritual of claiming gladly. i would love that... it means that she has all the elements required to treat her slave the way a slave like me should be treated... too bad she lives soo damn far away.

I'm wondering what to do... what do you think?
Only one can be my master... only one [natalija] made any move to get closer to me... but she got a boyfriend after talking about it and i slowly realized that she is afraid of commitment. so i think i'll just forget about her. i'm not sure what to do... i got many contacts to increase my chances of being claimed by a master who wouldn't leave me on the street, and one that would actually use me more than once a week... i'm not sure anymore... i'm just a tad scared... and sad... and out of things to live for...

There's also some girls on the internet that i cyber with to be the object of their desire, if just for a day... they'll masturbate to me, and i'll feel good inside...
I don't think any of them really made a move to try and get closer to me... just "internet ********" y'know?

Latley the emo-beast inside me has been getting stronger, although words of fair master-to-be's help tame it. Perhaps they'll come and slay it, rescuing the "damsel" kept prisoner by it. the prisoner fighting against it, and trying to keep himself alive... Each one could send me the equivillance of excalibur to destroy him, the collar used in the ritual of claiming, which would bring the beast down to a tenth his size. and in doing so she would most likley guarentee herself as my master... but sadly not one girl i have ever met in my life had the courage to send a collar. in fact, one girl ended up being completley alienated before she sent me the collar, making the beast grow much stronger... how sad...

I guess i may be instigating a 5-way battle between girls over me... or mabey breaking some young girl's heart... but this is the reality that they must face.

I... just want to be claimed... or at least a physical proof of promise that a girl will claim me as theirs...

In the end it's just a race between a bunch of girls over a little sex-slave. if you're reading this you're probably one of my masters-to-be. do what you wish, i'll still stay on gaia to talk and stuff, but after i'm claimed i can't make that much of a promise... y'know?

i apologize for all the hurt i've caused, i've just been hurt, and feel that, and feel that i need to be claimed... or at least some sort of commitment to be claimed.