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You to politely go ******** yourself.

Granted, I did start this by setting foot in the Life Issues forum in the first place, so the blame at the root of this is mine, but that doesn't really make the place any less mind-blowing. I just felt I should 'fess up to that error in judgement first. That said, the entire forum is a train wreck. Leaving out the people who think they have the entire DSM-IV (Not like they own it, like they have it all wrong with them) or the people panicked over a rash but mysteriously not seeking out a doctor, you still have the people asking for advice.

They are mostly liars, as far as I can tell.

Very few of them actually want advice, or want to avoid/repair a c**k-up of epic proportions. They don't want to learn a goddamn thing from other people's mistakes (Having made pretty much every mistake in the book, I tested this theory), they want to be told to do what they want to do, no matter how ill-conceived, impractical or physically impossible. Oh, you want to date a 56-year-old, and you just got your license? Well sure, he loves you for you, and you're totally as mature as he is-- go for it, love is love! And you seriously think trying to win that hot girl in math away from her boyfriend of 5 years will work, because you really love her, OMG man! [I have Pablo Francisco's male-stripper voice accompanying this in my head. Funny until I realize it's accurate] Well sure, what the ******** is commitment in the face of googly-eyed fumblings and twooo wuv; you'll win her heart for sure, tiger. Much easier than, say, showing her a little regard and pursuing someone who's...oh, I dunno...single? I mean, sure, I understand pining, but some of this stuff is insane. Shacking up with a man twice your age when you're 15 is not a good idea, not to mention not legal or likely to be permitted by your parents. Having sex when you can't spell "pregnant" and don't know where the bits all go likely won't end well. Someone you met on AIM the summer before this, your 6th grade year, is not your soulmate and you won't die if you don't see him/her every day. Trying to move out at 14 because your parents are cruel and won't let you date until high school is actually a lot more complicated than you think.

And every time these people ask, "What should I do?" they really mean, "Tell me what I want to hear, even if it's impossible, illegal, unethical, deranged or just flat-out dumb." They don't really want to hear a word of sense, they want to be coddled and told that being selfish and short-sighted is okay. They'll wait and whine and flame dissenters until they get a like-minded poster, at which point it devolves into a self-congratulatory wank. God help anyone trying to point out that the cunning plan will fail, even if they know it from experience and a handy law book. That this is the norm for the place confirms that bending over backwards to make sure your kids are never unhappy or made to work for/at anything is a very, very bad idea. Because srsly. Some s**t shouldn't fly, or even get off the ground, but here we are with our very own O'Hare.