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As told by Takai...

Life is such a precious thing...

I looked at Gram today while we were at the pizza place for lunch, and she was just gram. But then... about five minutes ago, it hit me. She's the only one left.

Sure, I have Dee... but she's my step grandma, and the last time we were at her house I saw her for all of five seconds. I'm not too fond of her either. Nor am I that fond of my dad's dad.

Its just not fair... cancer sucks a** man... I...

Okay, subject change before I break down right here and start bawling in my aunts house.

We were 'houseless' all day cause my dad had to take our motorhome into the shop to get it fixed. Lucky me, I ws the only one in my family sleeping in my aunts house. I had all my stuff, other than my laptop. Okay, so I would probably die if I lost all the stuff on that, but I could go a day without it.

Pamala lent me another Vampire novel. Heh, Bill the vampire. Nice. It's a little... mature, but its good. Sunshine is still the best vamp book out there though, so read it.

I still miss Reeku. We haven't talked (even on the net) for a while.

But... I don't feel like I'm going to die of longing or anything...

Is that bad? Am I so cold that I don't care?

All my life I've been 'the friend' to all the guy's I've known, it's hard for me to be anything more. I just fit the part. I'd go lizard hunting more often than not, I had pet snakes, though they terrified my mother... I feared make-up... still do, sort of...

I'm in over my head. I'm scaring myself. Can I do this? Can I go on with him when I'm being torn up inside? Is that fair to him?