Sooo, have I ever stated how much I hate being idle? Being idle means there are plenty of moments for me to think. Thinking albeit it is a good thing, can really drive a stake through my brain. Apparently I am one of a dying breed. A naive breed as the populace may say. One who upholds morals and believes in something more than lustful laisons. Or perhaps I am afraid of being like everyone else and losing my inhibitions to some sex-crazed lunatic. Apparently I have the goods, and know how to use them - but what is the use when there is no one of worth? If I use these "womanly charms" this person of worth could easily cast me aside for something else. But how could that be so when I am not like everybody else? Y'see what thinking does to me. I'm still a lonely bereft individual, despite how many offers I have had for a "good time." I am not willing to be boozed up and carted off to some seedy hotel room to be taken advantage of, even if I wish for the company of a male. Definately not in that manner. Surely such gentlemen of good taste exist somewhere. Or perhaps I should just sink to the levels that many leather clad women do, and succeed with such ease?
Murr, I couldn't do it even if I tried, and I have several times. Its awkward and degrading. Be true to yourself and you will find your way. Something I've been told countless times, but never fully understand. Am I destined to be without a caring individual? I've been lacking something as stable for a while now. I've had times when I had someone there, but they wanted only physical love none of that "romantic bullshit" as they have told me. So I simply left them. Those people are not worth my time, but to be honest will there ever be someone worth my time? Someone that can see my worth as a human rather than my a**? Possibly, but not in this small section of California. A place where long legs and large breasts rule supreme. The superficial bullshit is scripture, and sex is only a handshake rather than something two people do to show they love one another (oh, you cannot forget that babymakin').
Ok. I think I babbled on long enough.
Mmm. Please excuse the improper grammar and spelling. I'm too lazy to find my glasses or even pay attention to what I have just written.
Bon Nuit.
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