Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

crying I feel like an idiot!!!

I was so busy on Ragnarok trying to do the stupid Valentines Day Quest so I could get Josh something I TOTALLY forgot about Gaia. gonk

I didn't even know there WAS a Gaia V-Day event!! crying I didn't get any of my Gaia friends anything and I feel like such a bad person now crying

....yush, I am in school now. Downloading Ragnarok Online to see if I can get on here in school. I really, really, REALLY don't want to bring my laptop here everyday, but I know if I do that I'll make priestess faster. Its like a 4 hour download time thing, though; even though this school is suppose to have "superior" internet speed stare Superior my a**. stressed

I'm so bored....

Josh was missing for two days and I didn't know where he was or anything crying Sann didn't even know and I was so worried!! He came back, last night, as soon as I was about to log off RO. Its strange with him...he always catchs me at exactly the right moment. He always knows what I am thinking and how I feel about stuff...its so strange like he's connected to me or somethin gonk Anyway, he was helpin his mom move. His mom gets beat by his stepdad and she was movin out to get away from him. He tells me all these horrible stories about what his step dad has done to him and its so...frigtning. I mean, I thought my life was bad but I have nothin on that kid...

Anyway, maybe I'll update later. I'm bored and ranting on Ragnarok message boards. Bi bi blaugh

Update: 3:32pm
I think I should just...quit RO.

I'm not making priestess anytime soon, and all I seem to do is find such bad luck there.

I'm so bad at video games, and RO is no exception. ::sigh:: I fail at everything I try...

I don't even have that slight thrill to play RO anymore, because leveling is so hard. I hate games like this, you shouldn't have to devote your life to the game or have hundreds of friends there to be able to level up. Its just not fair. I want to do other things outside of RO and I can't because I really want to make a priestess, I can't do that because I'm FS (full support, which means I have the ideal build to help other players...). I solo alot, because its hard to find parties that will share experiance points with me--and experiance points are what make me level.

::sigh:: Jade kicked me out of her guild...I'm inactive, I know...but she just...I dunno...she said that she wanted a chracter of mines in her guild because she really liked me as her friend and didn't want to lose touch with me. I kept my mage with her, but I rarely ever get on it. She kicked me out...and that hurts my feelings because I really had the assumption we were friends. I wouldn't have cared if she just would have told me, sh eknows my email and my other chracter names but she didn't even bother...her girlfriend is in the guild who's named Helin, and I helped Helin level up and become a Rogue which is a 2-1 class in the game. I feel like...I didn't all that for nothin, ya know? I'm always bustin my a** to help people who dont' even deserve a nice person like me. I'm not being egotistical or anything, but I really go out of my way to help others and its never worth it in the end. I didn't ask for payment when I was her heal slave which goes for 200k+ zeny, I did it for free. And for what? I hate this game because people use other to level them up and then just leave. Its like after I broke my guild all my 'friends' went away. Its fcked up to see who really was and wasn't my friend now. 'cause none of them were. Not even Alche, who doesn't even talk to me now. I hate people so much...theey're all out for personal gain and they don't care who they use to get what they want.

::sigh:: That maks me so sad...

I just send an email to her, sayin how she coulda atleast had the deceny to tell me I was booted.

Since I thought Josh quit RO or somethin, this other guild asked me to join. I said yes, I would join today. I can't join now Josh is back, because this guild costs 300k zeny and being in it with him makes me feel close to him. I'm kinda mad at myself for telling them I would join and gettting their hopes up just to now say I can't.

Anyway, I'm kinda emo-like now so I'ma go. bai