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Heyhey! <3

I'm so bored. My mind has been everywhere lately, I don't know what to think anymore...

I can't tell weather I'm still fighting with Conor, or not. I know the rest of them forgave me, and I think Conor did to, but for all I know their all lying.
The sad part about it, is each and everyone of them are good liars. But thats perfectly fine, because little do they know, I am too!

Yeah, I got a new bf(no pics) and I love him and all but I feel like a b***h, and I dunno if I'm doing the right thing...
I mean, should I really be dating if I don't know my feelings for everyone else? I don't think I should, I mean it definately doesn't feel right.
I can't even tell if I hate my ex, or if I love him(still).

On Friday, a large persentage of the guys in our class thought it would be funny to make fun of Falon because her Mom used to be a stripper. They literally came to her face and made fun of her.
And then what does Greg(my ex) do? He tells us that Falon was dumped by Isaiah. Which, I soon found out later that day, that it wasn't true. He never wanted to but there was no going back.
I guess I understand though, Falon did take it out on the wrong person, though her jokes were funny.

She said word-for-word to Conor: "Ugh... My god! Conor, move please! I can't see, your so fat your taking up the whole class room!"
He didn't much like that. He looked as though he was ready to burst into tears. The one she should've insaulted was Greg, the whole thing was his doing.

But then, they went and made it worse. They put disturbing things about her mom being a stripper in their personal messages on MSN. And not making fun of the past, oh-no, they said it as though it was preseantense. Which was not right. And now, I'm not even allowed talking to them, and I'm trying to end the fights, I'm so confused! gonk

When I called Falon later that day, she was crying. I don't care what she says, I could tell she was crying.
And then Isaiah, tells me their planning on making her really upset this Monday, and making her cry.

I just don't get it, Isaiah even said it himself, he still loves her. He said if Conor hadn't reacted the way he did(hadn't been so upset) they would be back together.And it really, baffles my mind, to think, that those best friends are influenced by one more than the rest. That one, is Conor.

Conor is the leader of the group, we've figured that out. He's the reason Greg dumped me. But he hated me for something I'd done, something I hadn't apologized for. So, I did. I'm avoiding fights the best way I can, but when my friends get in, I somehow end up in the middle of it.
I'm tired of this, tired of fixing everyones mistakes... My frirends everyones...

But, thinking of not helping them, that made me think, haven't they done the same for me? Haven't they jumped those hoops? Haven't they come when I asked? Yes, they have. There has never been a time where they failed me. So why should I fail them? Well, simple. I shouldn't, and I wont.

But if this does go into some big issue, then which side do I fight for? Who do you go for if you support both, and have friends on both sides?
Unfourtunately I don't think I can help you this time... I'm sorry.
But I will step in, I know it. I wont be able to watch my friends get hurt, and I know who I'll end up helping, and I know who I'll end up upsetting.

This so far, has been the biggest issue between us thats happend since September. I think it even beat when Amie was in fear of Kaitlyn Craig coming to kick her a**(she never even tried).

Well, anyway, I'm out!

Yours Truely,

Silver Poison

Note* If you have any answers to my serious questions, please tell me! I'm so confused I'm begging, thats rare! Oh yeah, thats if you bothered to read it all... Or read any of it! xp