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Hello ...I am really happy now lol heart Like I did some thinking about myself and I realized that all of the problems were me...and maybe that subconciously I was pushing her away in being afraid of care and love......or maybe thats a excuse but ever since I realized this I have been happy because I put in effort not to let things get to me.....so I draw in a lot of negative at my own expense so that we can both be happy 4laugh and believe me...It is working...oh and as of now its 25 days til I go see her 4laugh Im not nervous I dont think...not quite sure on that but anywho peace love heart ..

P.S. Oh watch this video its really awesome I love the "hold me" part
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0FvG9GO8Qs