Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Why?
Why do things like this bug us?
We worry about what They think,
what we do.
What will happen if I don't do this?

How?
How will I study for the tests and have a life outside school?
How will I have the courage to be everything I want to be, but can't be?
Loud, pretty, smart, funny, liked, appreciated...
How do you deal with people you can't stand?
How do you deal with life?

When?
When will I finally be able to do something useful?
When won't I get strange looks from people when I act like myself?
When won't I mourn over everything I've done wrong?
When won't I anger easily over simple things?
When will life have a point?

Where?
Where the hell am I supposed to go to find a damn answer to a question?
Where do I go to escape the world and everything that follows?
Where do I go to find a place to curl up and cry without being found or interupted
Where do I go?

Who?
Who has an answer that's useful?
Who can teach me to hide behind a mask better than I do already?
I can hide my depression, but how long will it be before my mask crumbles?
Who in the world actually gives a damn about what I think or want?
Who would care that I think it's incredibly stupid what we're doing and am the only one who speaks out and tries to correct things?


Why do I
Seem like the only one who cares?
Why am I
The only one who seems to have any sense at times?
The only one who doesn't have the courage to show off to the world?
Why am I the only one without the courage
To not freeze when I walk on stage by myself?
To not be embarrased by life and my class?
Why am I
The only one who seems to actually give a damn about what they think?
About what they say
About the looks they give me when I'm not looking.

Am I the only one who hides behind a mask and has nowhere to cry?