Today I feel like a big dark hole of despair, and I don't care how ******** emo that sounds, it's true.
Everything seems to be happening in a row. One minute I'm top of the world with happiness, the next everything is crashing and burning and emotions are haywire.
Love is bittersweet; though your heart beats, you may just be driven to insanity.
My friends who hurt.. it hurts me beyond everything else. So there may be nothing specifically wrong with me, but because my friends feel like crap so do I. That's how dear they are to me.
The one who will tell me nothing - and the one who will tell me everything. Guessing and knowing. Skeptic and worry.
Are the problems connected? Is it what I think it's about? Is it what I know it's about?
It seems like attaching myself to this has caused me great pain, and without a doubt I am nothing but a hindrance. But what can I do?! Just leave it be?! Not the way things are turning out. I worry and care and I want to die.
You of the Twin Tiger, if you die, I will never forgive you, and then I will want to die even more then I already do. I don't know what I'll do without you, because as far as I see you're the only one who cares, who's ever cared. I want to say I understand how you feel, however ... and I can in some semblance, but on that extremity? Maybe not. I never had the same circumstances you do. I will do whatever I can to stay by your side though, and make sure you pull through with your soul intact.
You of the Loyal Blade, you hurt me more then any wound by denying me the rights to care about you. My constant worry for you plagues my heart and you do nothing to stem it. Sharing your problems might be a burden, and you may not need help, but don't you understand that by doing so I worry even more? Even if it's none of my business, do you really not trust me enough to even tell me how you feel at all? But I guess how I feel never really did matter.
If you two walk out of my life I will die, I swear to it.
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These are the records of certain occurrences and musings in my life. It is probably not of much importance to you, unless you enjoy being a sleuth or have some vague interest in listening to me prattle about my flavour-of-the-month.