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-Insert title here-
I hit my head against the concrete wall.. water flying off because off the collection of rain.

I sit in what is now my corner.. the cold cement making me shiver.. continuing to keep my head and my single hand on what is now my wall..

the walls seem to close in on me.. forcing me to continually shake for comfort.. it does not seem to help..

this room has collected rain from it's ceiling, it's leaking from the impossibly heavy pressure.. I finally turn away from my wall, and curl into a ball.. resting my head on my arms.

Why should I make them happy..?
they, who now hold me hostage, don't know me..
the part of me that laps up my own blood off the streets..
the part of me that fantisises about a kill..
the part of me that loves her...

she as well holds me hostage..
holds my heart and my very being within her beautiful hands..

but I try to get rid of those thoughts.. thoughts of her..
but it is useless to try to get rid of such a presence.. that haunts me with a simple look..

I place my trembling hand on the ground, imagining her with her hand touching mine.

I pull back reluctantly.. greiving inwardly..
I curl back up.. pulling my legs toward me..

the rain falls on my naked body..
it somehow makes me comfortable.....

with my head turned down I did not see it..
the image..
I heard a soft whispering..
it was her
a dark angel, a blessing upon my withered soul..
her long, dark hair..
her porceline skin and lighted lips.. full of kindness..
she smiles, dimples appearing on her smooth, open face..

the image disappears, making me cry out in frustration.
I cry myself to a sleep of dreams..
thoughts made of rain..

Randomness. :'D






User Comments: [20] [add]
[~exploding~pie~]
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commentCommented on: Thu Jul 12, 2007 @ 10:46am
omg.. eek you wrote this??? by yourself??? this is great.... wow...


commentCommented on: Wed Jul 18, 2007 @ 04:24pm
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. :]



Concrete Abstraction
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`Sariya
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commentCommented on: Thu Jul 26, 2007 @ 12:48am
*Gasp.* That's damn good! ;D


commentCommented on: Fri Jul 27, 2007 @ 05:26pm
That is one of the best poems I have heard yet.
=D
Very vivid, very descriptive, very powerful.



Obscurities
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Andii Skywalker
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commentCommented on: Fri Jul 27, 2007 @ 05:35pm
GETTIN ALL HOT AND BOTHERED : O


commentCommented on: Fri Jul 27, 2007 @ 05:36pm
Thank you both very much. x3
I'm glad you all like it. n.n



Concrete Abstraction
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Concrete Abstraction
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commentCommented on: Fri Jul 27, 2007 @ 05:37pm
And to Queen:
..xDD


commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 08:53am
very nice, I like the flow~ you could make this into an opening for a story if you wanted too ^-^



Prince_Syu
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Concrete Abstraction
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commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 08:55am
That's mostly how I write, anyway.
I don't write poems so much as.. emotion, or description. Or both.
I'm happy you liked it~


commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 08:58am
The way its written is more like a song then anything really, if you put a beat to it you could do that x3 but I think people would call you emo if you actually made it into a song.
If you added more I think it would be a real depressing story x3 maybe put sucicide and love pain and maybe some rape? : D and incest? xDD sorry Im a little twisted :3



Prince_Syu
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Prince_Syu
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commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 09:02am
Don't know why it repeated!


commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 09:02am
Nah, I HAVE written about things of that sort, just not on THIS account. xD
My main writing account is Pseudo Tithe. That has a lot of old crap I've written, a bit of repetition though. [Accidental]
And yes, I could. It would take time, but I could make it into a song. x3
That was my first thought:
EMO.
But if you pay attention to lyrics, of almost every song you hear, you could say the same for those too. Depending on the music, of course; but it's similar.



Concrete Abstraction
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Prince_Syu
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commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 09:06am
x3 yea a lot of songs could be considered emo but they are only that when they are said directly "God I wanna cut myself" or something like that xD Neh~ it would take a while to make it, can you play the guitar or something? :3 I love to write stories too ^_^ and to roleplay things like that~~<3 its lots of fun and hot xD


commentCommented on: Fri Sep 07, 2007 @ 09:09am
True. :0
The only thing I really know how to play is the piano, but I am learning violin. :3~
Other than that.. no, I don't play the guitar unfortunately. >3<
Writing is my FAVORITE~ heart
Along with drawing. n.n



Concrete Abstraction
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Ketini
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commentCommented on: Mon Nov 17, 2008 @ 07:20pm
this is beautiful so much detail and feeling biggrin


commentCommented on: Mon Nov 24, 2008 @ 09:35pm
HOLY SHEEET~! You dun knowz me, but I read this and... O-O

This is probablly the best story (Er whatever yew wanna call eet >-> wink
that ive ever read O__O And I mean that O-O -Bow Bow-

FRUKKIN AWESOME >w<



Phuzee
Community Member
User Comments: [20] [add]
 
 
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