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<center> Why Can't I Be There Where You Are? </center>
::sigh:: Don't pay attention to my journal titles, just random stuff I think of atm.
Atm....that phrase confused me forever on RO. I had no friggin clue what it meant and that drove me friggin crazy. All these people were "AFK ATM".....away from keyboard at the moment...I though they were literally at the ATM machine....
I'm depressed now. I think I did get high off that cold medicine and now I suffer from those side affects you get after being high. Not like...depressed...but like nothing matters. I mean, I could die right now and not care at all. I can't go outside or anything 'cause I'd cross a busy street without lookin both ways or nothin....
All I can seem to do is type...at 9pm though, I gotta get offline and finish my Algebra 2 quater final project thing....
I feel so outta place....like....crying but not being sad. Like...people make sad faces or something....the tears are just free falling though.
And oh so very confused....like, just quiet contemplation of my existance and that sort of stuff. Like...love and people and reading and....just...stuff.
Travis keeps callin me, I'm to shy to answer the phone, though. Not like...shy...but he's a friend from school, I don't know what to say to him. All my friends from school I only talk to in school. Especially since they're all guys, I don't have any contact with them outside of school. I just...I dunno...I dunno what to like say...::sigh::
I feel all...withdrawl like....like...dont' talk to me like...just back the ******** off....or else I'll get pissed and hurt you. I mean literally hurt too, like pick up a knife and stab your a** kinda hurt.....
I need a job, so I can go to the movies. Who with, though? I don't have anyone...
My headphones are so damn loud right now...it doesn't bother me for some reason, though. My ears are uber sensative, and loud noises hurt...but this just...I just dont' care enough to even feel pain.
Everything is a waste, and everything is so useless and pointless. I don't even know why I try anymore...like it will even matter in the end. In the end...in the end...in the end....like that Linkin Park song. So ******** true....
Josh decided to "take me back". Like I'm some pathetic loser or something, like I'm desperate or something. If we break up, he is one boyfriend I would not keep intouch with just because of how he treats me. My friends said that all mexicans treat their girlfriends bad like this, it sucks so much. Oh well though, I guess next time I'll consult my friends before I get romantically involved with someone cause they're all guys and they have yet to be wrong about any of the guys I dated. Guys know guys, I guess.
I haven't talked to Josh at all today, if I wasn't so depressed I'd probably care or something. Isaac doesn't talk to me much either, but he's on Spring Break so thats accounted for. Kevin is busy with work, I presume. Onii-san can't get online. Slasher is moving I think. Nick is doin college crap. Joker is busy with college stuff. Giro is respondie to me lots. JBlade is busy with senior life ^^....hmm....that accounts for everyone I care about.
Levelin is hard on RO, once again. I'm making a huntress with no one's help. Isaac has been off RO for a whole week now....so I have no one to level with, since Josh thinks he's to good to level with me now he has a hunter. I don't need anyones help, though...I'm a big girl, no one ever cared enough to really help before and I don't need them to now.
Josh's friends don't like me. Sann used to talk to me alot more than he does now. I thought we were friends, I guess I was wrong. I really took a liking to the freshmen, thought he was adorable and all. Since Josh broke up with me, Sann doesnt' talk to me. It sucks. Badly.
Well, a guildmate asked me if I wanted some company while I boringly solo so I'ma hang with him. See ya later.
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