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There once was a blackman named Pancho. He had a gun. With that gun he shot and shot some more. He also had a sidekick named missle. He had a white slave Ricardo. Who had just lost ten pounds! One day he decided to rob a bank. The owner of the bank was named Andrew. Andrew was a sissy and a quitter. Too bad Andrew was also rich. Pancho failed and was sent to jail. He met Big Bob and his b***h Agustin. Together with Bobs help Pancho broke out. He then killed Big Bob and Agustin died from AIDS. Soon sidekick Missle sent Ricardo to assasinate Andrew. Ricardo was cut in half by a black ninja. Missle then learned of Pancho's darign escape. He went to help Pancho. By chance he saw Andrew walking down the street. He followed all the way to Kentucky. Too bad it turned out to be Mr. Caro. Pancho seeked help from the legendary Mob Boss Marcos. Marcos sent his legendary assasin Martinez to assasinate Andrew. Mr. Caro was accidently and mysteriously killed. Marcos was angry with his assasin's failure. He decided to send his up and coming assasin Victor.Victor went to kill Martinez. Victor had his neck broken in 6.7 seconds. Martinez unfortunately had a pencil in his hand and he tripped. The pencil penetrated his eye and entered his brain. He died. Pencils are dangerous.One week later Missle cae back with a lot of chicken. He opened up a KFC. Andrew visited this KFC by chance and Missle remembered his purpose. Missle attacked. Missle tripped on oil and burned his hand. Andrew left. Missle, sad with failure cried. Pancho was bored. He went to a strip club. Unfortunately it was a gay strip club. While he went in there was a brawl. In the midst of things there were two strippers kicking a**. They were punchin and kicking followed by breaking necks followed by some more punching and kicking. Pancho knew he had found new henchmen. Pancho recruited them by threatening to kill their dogs and everyone knows gay strippers always have dogs. These two were not gay however they just knew there was more money in gay stripping. Their names were Jeebus and Angel. He sent them on their first Job. It was to find his sidekick who had gone missing. In 15 minutes they found Missle by a dumpster. He had been training under a Fat Hobo.With his new found battle skills he joined Pancho once more.While they were walking back from the gun store a crazy man came. He said his name was Daniel. He touched Pancho with his left hand. Pancho kept his ears and legs. Then he framed him for murder. Rumors are Daniel knows Big Bob's Cousin Big Bill really well in jail. And i mean really well. Pancho now stocked up with gear decided to attack. Andrew had hired mercenaries. 800 of them. When they attack they were dumfounded. At this moment Missle knew his training had payed off. He used his ultimate techinque Battle Cry. He killed 781 of the enemy. This unfortunately mad him lose his left testicle. Angel and Jeebus got to work. Unfortunately a mad scientist named Eduardo had remade Ricardo as a cyborg. Ricardo broke angel like a twig. Too bad black ninja did not get the memo that said ricardo was an ally. He cut him in half again.Jeebus then kicked black ninja out the window. It was a 10 story building. Jeebus's sexiness had attracted even the mercenaries. They attempted to buttrape him. Jeebus like a true man used Angel's dead body as a decoy. He then blew them all up. He died in the explosion. Now it was just Pancho and Andrew. Pancho had bought lots of guns but forgot to buy ammo. All Andrew had was pencils. Sharp pencils. They had a mexican stand off. Andrew threw a pencil. It penetrated Pancho's arm and broke his bone. Pancho threw his gun. It did nothing. Andrew threw more pencils. They hit Pancho's legs and other arm. Pancho fell. Andrew laughed and walked away. With the last of his strength Pancho threw his gun. It hit Andrew and made him trip. He fell onto a pencil. The pencil penetrated his chest and stabbed his heart. He died. Pencils are dangerous.