ORDER IN THE COURT PLEASE! I kid you not, this is all true, would I lie to you? Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?" Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask." Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?" Witness: "Er...his face
Lawyer: "What happened then?" Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'" Lawyer: "Did he kill you?" Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard." Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?" Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8." Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?" Witness: "Yes." Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?" Witness: "Four times."
Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it
Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?" Witness: "Picking them up in the air." Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?" Witness: "Attached to the ears."
Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?" Witness: "Oral." Lawyer: "How old are you?" Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?" Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."
The Tango Emily · Sun Feb 01, 2009 @ 11:02pm · 0 Comments |