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Hey y'all, remember the weird looking cupid man? Yeah, the one that stands next to your avi. You can create Valentines right? Well, here I am to show you some Valentines card I made which are HILARIOUS and some that my friends made that I think is funny. Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands up for the top 11 most hilarious valentines(that I have)! Why top 11? Because I like to go 1 step beyond(just like *Nostalgia Critic!).

No. 11
I believe it was Celine Dion who once sang, "Oh, my wig, my dolphin, I've hungered for your mountain a long, fuzzy time." Well, that's exactly how I feel. Or maybe I should quote your favorite rapper, Eminem, who said "ripping ain't easy, but it's necessary, and I'm chasing coffee mugs like Tom chases Jerry." Either way, you know what I'm getting at: will you be my Valentine?

XOXO

My wig? My dolphin? FUZZY?? Why on Earth will ANYONE hunger for a mountain a long, fuzzy time? What the f**k does that even mean? But the most funny(and sick & wrong) is "ripping isn't easy, but it's necessary..." Ripping. Ah, ripping. You have no idea how wrong that sounds in that exact sentence.

No. 10
How I long to hear your funny song again. What was it called? Ah yes, thriller. How your bright voice lingered in the air liked the cries of a wounded white mouse. Such happy! Let us join together and stole in unison, your lively song carrying our hearts to blah. heights.

Funny song. That's OK, I guess. But wait a minute, wait a minute! I thought Thriller was a spooky song! Well, unless your gut-ful you will not think it the most funniest song ever. Moving on. How your bright voice....ok, ok....linger in the air...ok, ok...like a wounded white mouse...ok, o-wtf? Let me read that again. How your bright voice lingered in the air like a wounded white mouse...THAT. Does not make sense. I don't EXACTLY think that a wounded mouse's voice is really that bright. Such happy! It could make sense...to a 5 year old. Stole in unison? Stole what? YOU STOLE!! HOW CAN YOU!! Carrying out hearts to blah. heights. What does blah. stand for? And what's with the . ?

No. 9
You know how the song goes: "funny men say only mice rush in." Well, I'm afraid I Timmy Turner felt when the churches first parted to reveal spongebob silhouetted against a creepy sky. It was frustration at first sight! Please be mine. I'll be
here, stealing running until you get here.

COOL embrace. Is that cold? How did timmy felt well he saw spongebob silhouetted against the creepy sky? Well they ever get rid of the frustration between them? How the hell do they steal runs? Or is it steal running? Or maybe stealing and running? Stayed tuned for next time's 'When the Churches First Parted'.

No. 8
You and I are just two creepy people trying to make it in this cute world. I know we're not perfect-- I've certainly been guilty of steal money from bank in the past, and I know you've dabbled with greed, but lets put that all in the past and focus on what really matters: our hatred love. Without you, I'm nothing but a bad white mice.

Your's happy

We're creepy aren't we? *evil laughs* And I certainly do not want to go in to a cute word where everything is pink and fluffy. UGH. That's a nightmare just thinking about it! Oh yes, and I've stole money from bank. You've been dabbled with greed too so we're even. I only stole for you. Na na na na na! I don't think our hatred love really matters that much. Without you, I'm nothing but a very successful business person with money spilling into my house by the bucket full and you can't stop it.

No. 7
You and I are just two creepy people trying to make it in this dead world. I know we're not perfect-- I've certainly been guilty of stealing money from bank in the past, and I know you've dabbled with greed, but lets put that all in the past and focus on what really matters: our cute love. Without you, I'm nothing but a sad monster.

Yours hated

Sorta the same like the last one, except no one would ever want to set foot in a dead world and this time there's a -ing on the steal. And cute love, though there's nothing cute about it and I'm a sad monster.
P.S. I sent this to my MOM, so I guess 'Yours hated' wasn't a very good idea. And probably saying your mom's greedy and you stole money from the bank isn't very nice too. Dead world? She might say your discriminating our planet Earth. By the way, she wouldn't want a sad monster for a kid.

No. 6
How I long to hear your gloomy song again. What was it called? Ah yes, it sucks to be me. How your happy voice lingered in the air liked the cries of a wounded monster. Such sad! Let us join together and attack in unison, your frustration song carrying our hearts to insane heights.

Wow, if you've ever heard 'It Sucks to be Me', then it is a pretty gloomy song. It sings how their lives suck but then in a funny way. Anyway, why is the voice of a wounded monster flipping happy? Isn't it supposed to be creepy or angry? Maybe even sad? Why happy of all things? Such sad! Let us join together and attack it in unison. What is 'it'? I don't know. Ask Gaia. ATTACK!! LAUNCH THE CATAPULTS!! ARCHERS AT THE READY!! 3, 2, 1, RUN!! NOT THAT WAY, YOU IDIOT, RUN AWAY!! This frustrating song is making the soldiers messed up! It is carrying their hearts to INSANE heights!

No. 5
Please, my beloved, come with me on a shine journey to the deepest charmaine of my guts. Any fool could see that we're meant for each other; won't you join me in Sydney and dance with me across the undulating church? The wait is too much to bear. Can't we just cast aside the formality of courtship and running like breaking churches?

Well, I don't think a journey to the deepest charmaine, or whatever it is of my guts is 'shine'. AND, I don't think Sydney has many churches and too find 1 one must go a long way with much research and questions to get there. So even if you can your partner can't...(totally my opinion)But we don't have any formality courtship and runnning(?) like breaking churches(x2 ?)!!

No. 4
You know how the song goes: "funny men say only countries rush in." Well, I'm afraid I must. I can't wait another minute to feel your nothingness embrace. Now I know how Aang felt when the churches first parted to reveal spongebob silhouetted against a gloomy sky. It was horrified at first sight! Please be mine. I'll be here, attacking until you get here.

First things first: How do countries rush in? How do countries even rush? OMG, countries can walk now! They have legs! I wonder why my country is still staying in the same area....but anyway, anywho, anyhow, anywhere, anywhat, if it's a nothingness embrace, how is it a embrace when you can't feel anything? What the.....? How did Aang felt when the churches parted to reveal spongebob? What will happen next? What will become of their horrifically gloomy sky? What will happen to them? Why? Why are they meant for each other? And what am I attacking? Why do I have to attack until someone gets here? Tune in next time to 'When Churches First Parted', to find out what becomes of our 2....lovebirds?

No. 3
I believe it was Michael Jackson who once sang, "Oh, my Canada, my church, I've hungered for your mouse a long, creepy time." Well, that's exactly how I feel. Or maybe I should quote your favorite rapper, frances, who said "thrilling ain't easy, but it's necessary, and I'm chasing cars like Tom chases Jerry." Either way, you know what I'm getting at: will you be my Valentine?

XOXO

No, I do not what your getting at. No one can guess to be: will you be my valentine? They will only guess your saying something about Michael Jackson and rappers but have no idea what. And, Michael sang 'Oh, my canada, my church, I've hungered for your mouse a long creepy time'? Gosh, I must have missed that out. Who the heck's frances? I never heard of a rapper called frances(almost spelt rapper 'raper' by mistake. TYPO!). Is he/she new? Ooo, how do you thrill? I thought that was a Michael Jackson thing. And cars? I love cars. And Tom. And Jerry. And chase(s).

No. 2
When I think of you, I get apes in my colon. Though it makes me feel sickening, it's also exciting. Whenever we out house together, it feels like all the angels in heaven are smacking at once. How could one person make me feel simultaneously infected and licking with nothing but a bat of the eyelashes and a zombie of the crows feet? I hope we can keep icing people together for 24 years.

openly yours

When you think of me, you get apes in your colon. Then you better not think of me. And thinking of me also makes you feeling sickening? How rude? And exciting? Well, that's not half bad. Out....house....? When we OUT HOUSE?? We better not, I'm telling you. Besides, I dont want angels in heaven smack at once. I make you feel simultaneously INFECTED? 2 can play that game. You make me feel disgustingly diseased. How's that? I know, it's great. Oh, and wow, you lick. Bat of the eyelashes. Big whoop. And..., zombie of the crows feet? What do you mean? You mean, zombie version of a crow's feet? Or a zombie crow? Or even, a zombie crow feet. Ha! And you hope we can keep icing people together for 24 years. How do you ice...why would I want to....what the....and why 24 years? Openly yours. In a way, that sounds (sick& wink wrong.

No.1 And the number 1 most bizarre and funny valentines is....
I can not begin to describe how happily my head burns for you. As I write this, I'm attacking in my church, unable to contain my slicing desire. Please, accept my creepy embrace and know that your truly the watermelon of my eye.

I yearn for you sadly

I can begin to describe how painfully my head burns for it. As I type this, I'm murdering in my mall, unable to contain my slicing desire. Please, except my happy kill and know that your truly the squashed ant of my eye.
First of all, Ouch. I do not want my head burnt or damaged in any way please. Why would I be attacking in my church(if I have one) when writing a letter? HOW can I attack in my church when writing a letter? So, 1 hand writes while the other slices. Cool, cool. I will not accept any creepy embraces, thank you very much. And I will not want to be the watermelon of anyone's eye(watermelons are big), please and thank you. By the way, ain't watermelons too big for the eye? When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie it's amore...(i think) Your truly the big pizza pie in my life. Yummy!