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I may get my own come late April/early May.

A couple friends and I were out looking at houses yesterday. And we found a really nice one in Rockwall that would fit our budget once Nathan gets a good job. 4-bedroom house, 1395 a month in rent. Now we don't necessarily need the extra bedroom, but we're going to try and find a fifth roommate. (Nick and Jessica will get the master, since they're a couple. I'll get my own room and Nathan will get his own. That leaves an empty bedroom.) Maybe if his friend Joey's interested, since his homelife sucks.
But I'm UBER excited! The house is GORGEOUS and affordable. I'm going to get a third job for weekends just to have the extra money in case of emergencies and stuff. I can't wait! My own place with my best friends. And Lee won't be living with us, but he'll be spending the night with me any chance he gets. He'll be going back to Commerce in the fall, but that's only about an hour away, and he'll be home on the weekends anyway.
I think this relationship will survive. I'm confident. We had an emotional.... I dunno what you'd call it, we didn't fight... But it made me realize that he really does love me, and he's not going to hurt me. In his own words, I'm stuck with him. Which I'm not complaining about... I don't think I've ever been this happy. I think I've found THE ONE.

My 21st birthday is on Thursday! YEAHHH!!!! mrgreen

So, I've decided afterall not to join the Coast Guard. Meh. I doubt I'd make it through anyway... I'm a wuss stressed

So dis is what I'm doing now!
I'm halfway through the online bartending certification course, passing with flying colors. I'm staying at the Arrhythmia clinic on weekdays and I'll be bartending on weekends to get some extra money rolling in. And with my HUGE boobs, I must say, I'll get some AWESOME tips. Then my friend Nathan and I are going to get an apartment. BAM! I can't wait.

Also, I have a new man 4laugh His name is Lee and I love him dearly. AGAIN, reminding myself not to get my hopes up too high too soon about another boy... But I do have a good feeling. And I hope this one lasts. heart

And that concludes another minute in the life of Lauren!

So, I've hit a rut in my life. School is monotonous and it sucks. Work is boring. The people I've had to deal with lately are so unfriendly that I'm about ready to tear someone's head off.

So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm in the process of dieting in hopes that I lose 20 to 30 pounds. January 12th I go to see a recruiter and, if I've reached my weight limit by then, the ASVAB will be taken, the papers will be signed, and I'll officially be a Coast Guard recruit. Basic training will take place at Cape May, New Jersey. I'll be away from my phone, my internet, and all civilization for a total of 8 weeks. Graduation. Then my first assignment, which will hopefully be in Hawaii, if they send me to the port that I choose.

Sound good? I thought so too.

I just had my eye exam today, also. And turns out I need glasses for distance. Yay. It's a good thing I know now, because I wouldn't have passed my driving test next time I have to take it. And I'll look super-cute in the frames that I picked smile

A minute in the life of Lauren.

So I was in one of my moods last night, and I started thinking. I like this guy, but I don't want to get into a relationship with him if I'm not ready to give my heart to him, because then I'd feel like I'm leading him on. I can't give my heart to him, because my heart still belongs to someone else. Someone I've been in love with for almost 3 years... And it breaks my heart to know that he doesn't want me anymore. We were together for a year and a half, and I never really got my heart back. I'm wondering if I should take it back by force, or tell him how I feel.

So, this is what I want from a man.
1. I want someone who will move the hair from my eyes and kiss me. Like they mean it, not just because I'm there or it's something to do to pass the time.
2. I want someone who will hold my hand in public because they want to, not to make people jealous.
3. I want someone who will make love to me and tell me they love me, and hold me afterwards. Not someone who just wants to ******** me until it hurts to move.
4. I want forever. FOREVER. I want to spend eternity in heaven with my husband. Not just while we're living. Not just because it's convenient for him, or because I'm there for now, or until something better comes along. There shouldn't be a "something better" when you're in love.
5. I don't want someone who will "give me the moon and the stars". That's too much for me to handle. Just give me your love. That's all I need.
6. I want someone who will love me for me, not what I look like naked, or how good I am between the sheets. I want it to be my personality, the way I smile, the way my nose twitches when you touch it, the way our hands fit together perfectly.

That all just sounds too good to be true. Well, there HAS to be someone like that out there somewhere, right?

And sorry to all you military chaps... but I DO NOT want a military chap. If you knew my last boyfriend... (if you could call him a boyfriend...) You'd understand where I'm coming from when I say that. That and I don't trust the U.S. Government mrgreen

Any feedback would be nice. Advice is welcome.

So, my sister and I got my dad a puppy for his birthday mrgreen He's adorable. He's a boston bull terrier named Jughead. He bites everything. Including toes. rofl

I've decided that I'm going to let my hair grow out. Haven't decided how long I want it to be yet. I'm just tired of having short hair. I'm keeping it blonde though. Well.... the shade it is now is more like yellow. But it's MUCH better than my natural color either way.

Taylor's coming over tomorrow 3nodding He owes me a back massage, but I'm getting a full body 4laugh I'll let you know how THAT goes wink

So. Army Dickwad dumped me. I suspect cheating and foul play were involved, considering he had some b***h calll me and break up with me FOR him. p***y.

ANYWHO. My classes start tonight. Fine Arts Appreciation sounds interesting. Speech, not so much, considering i have HORRIBLE stage fright. Yay.

And I'm talking to this guy from my church 3nodding He's a sweetie pie. Kind of out of my league, but he's interested nonetheless 4laugh We'll see how that goes.

I'm writing a book mrgreen

Got my main characters written up, along with a little background information on each one. And I've started a chapter outline.

I'm excited!

Well, I finally heard from Travis last night... his phone broke. He'll be coming home in about 5 weeks, then he spends 2 months at Fort Hood before he gets deployed to Iraq cry

But wait! There's more!
After I spend some more time in school making good grades and bringing my GPA back up, I'm moving down to Fort Hood to be with Travis and attending the nursing school there while I work as a nurse's aid, or whatever job I can find down there, actually. So, while I'm in school here, I have a lot to think about in the area of "What am I going to do first to get ready for the move, and when am I going to do it?" I can't be afraid of my parents anymore, because it would have happened eventually. They'll just have to get used to the fact that I'm not a little girl anymore, and I can make my own decisions and take care of myself. I love Travis, and I'll do whatever it takes to be with him.

Any thoughts?

A little something I just felt like writing. Don't be doo harsh.

She walked through the small wooded area behind her house, listening to the crackling twigs and autumn leaves crumble beneath her feet as she made progress to no destination in particular. Small rays of sunlight peeped through the leaves and branches of the treetops above her. She stopped for a moment beside the largest tree in the wood, held out her hand and caught a sunbeam on her palm, smiling at its warmth on her pale skin. A cool breeze blew her long, frail hair from her face, whispering to her, “Follow me.” She kept walking, her hair gleaming as it caught more rays of sunlight.

The trees grew closer together and the ground grew darker as she walked deeper into the small wood. She stopped when she reached the clearing in the center. It was bare, save a single rosebush that lie directly in the middle. She smiled faintly as she drew closer to it, reaching out. She brushed her fingertips softly against the glossy leaves, a single tear slipped down her rosy cheek. Her pale green eyes searched the bush for any sign, until she found a stem where a bloom had been picked off. She found another bloom, wrapped her fingers around the thorny stem and pulled, ignoring the crimson blood that was now trickling down her forearm as she drew the bloom to her nose and breathed in the sweet scent that reminded her of him.

Him. The one she so impatiently waited for. She wished, wanted and prayed night and day for him to return to her and soothe her aching heart and soul. To embrace her in his warm, strong arms and hold her to him, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, brush the thin hair from her forehead and kiss it. She had already waited two long, agonizing years. Three more seemed entirely unfair to her, and it broke her heart.

The fragile heart that lay in her bosom, that had been broken many a time before. Had never been mended. “Never,” she breathed into the hot, humid air around her as she dropped the rose and collapsed on the bright green patch of grass that lay beneath her favorite weeping willow. She let the raindrops that fell the day before drip down onto her skin and soft, pale dress. Closed her eyes, and imagined him. “Come back to me.” her breathy voice did not echo, for there was too much moisture in the air. No one would hear her. She wished he would…

This short essay can also be found with my poems and drawing in the beta arenas.