I always told my friends: "If a guy tells you he doesn't know if your THE ONE and needs time to make sure he's probably never going to be sure and you will probably never get back together." So far for all my friends this has been true. None of them have gotten back together, instead they now hate eachother and refuse to even talk. I just hope I'm wrong in this one. He wasn't sure if I was the one and if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that hurt. I talked to him and he still didn't change his mind. What is he missing? Is there this massive male sex opportunity he's missing? I don't understand...if he doesn't know if he wants to be with me the rest of his life that's his decision. I'm not gonna wait for him to "figure it out" because I already know that as soon as I realized I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him I wanted the rest of my life to start as soon as possible. I love it when he sits on the computer topless, I love that he hogs the sheets at night. I love that he always thinks its hot and then leaves the fan running in the window and sleeps under a comforter. I love it when he looks at me like he's mad. I love it when I don't answer him he gets up in my face and widens his eyes to huge proportions. I love that he is just himself and I love that he's the last one I want to see before I go to bed at night. I hurt so bad because he doesn't know if he even wants to be with me. It hurts more that he can't tell me yes or no, but won't let me be with another guy. I'm afraid that if I do go out with another person I'll fall for them though I will probably never love someone as much as I love Mike. I just don't know how this will turn out and it kills me inside to know that he doesn't love me anymore. He says: "Kristen I care about you I really do." But CARING ISN'T LOVE. We hang out and carry on like a married couple but with tears and too much emotion. I hate crying in front of him and every one tells me: "If Mike was worth the tears I cry over him and his decision to leave me he would have never made me cry in the first place." I look at them and tell them that even the man of your dreams will make you cry, wether they are tears of joy or sorrow. All I can say at this point is: "All I know is that I want him to want me. I need him to need me. I'd love him to love me. I'm begging him to take me in his arms and tell me everything is going to be all right and that he wants to be my fox and wants me to be his Kitten for as long as we both shall live." I must be asking too much from him. crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying heart
 xXemodestructionXx · Fri Jul 16, 2010 @ 05:50am · 0 Comments |
