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we are doing alot better now. that really didnt last long, but i was completely miserable. not knowing if he even wanted to try to save the relationship....tis hard to deal with.

But he does want to save it, and we are going to work on it. I guess his main complaint was that were were acting like a married couple already. sure, we've been together for a while, but we shouldnt act like we're married.

I figure we had out first official make up sex on Thrusday. but thats now the topic at hand. If you wasnt to read about sex, go get a copy of Penthouse Fourm or something....

All we really have to work on is not spending quite so much time together. I have to quit being so upset when he wants to hang with the guys and not me. Dont call and pester every day, stuff like that.

we can make it 3nodding heart

I feel like s**t.
very frank, i know. but thats how it is.

it started like any other day, woke up much too early and waited, semi patiently, for 3:00 to roll around so as I could call my boyfriend. the love of my life. i thought i did rather good, waiting until 4:00 to call, giving him plenty of time to sleep.

He was asleep when i called, so i waited even more patiently for him to call me back. I hadn't seen him all weekend, hadnt really talked to him much either, so i guess i was a bit of a nag. He was in a bad mood when he called me back. some times he just gets that way, and i get upset, because theres no way i can help him, and i hate seeing/hearing him when theres something wrong and i cant do anything to help....

more later, im tearing up already... cry

ok, its the 19th now, and i suppose i should finish this.In short, my boyfriend thinks i've lost sight of who i am. and its true. i dont have goals, or asperations. i dont have any real direction in my life. and it sucks. I dont know if we'll make it. i really want to . we just have to start all over again. 2 years and we're just starting from the very very beginning again. it hurts. alot.

Yay! i fianlly found people again. dont know where Kcin is, but i met his... his cousin or something. His name it The Fallen. I know, I know, dont associate with people who's name starts with 'The'. But he seems pretty nice. He feed me, which is always good. I was starving too. I think I heard Dus+ and that stupid 'monk' outside, we'll just have to see what happens.

(Thank you everyone for my wings! I love them to pieces!)

Every thing is still rather hazy... i remember i took a nasty hit to the head, and was nocked out for quite a while. if it knocked me out so much, it probly would have killed anyone else. Hopefully writing will help me remember... i hate not know what happened to me.

i remember that we started out deep in the woods. i awoke under a tree and ran into Mojito again. we made our way to a blue glowing cave that Kcin and Kyarri were heading to. I also met someone new. a monk named Sleek. he came with us too. The blue light was comming off of the walls, emminating from some very beautiful looking writting. i wish i knew what it ment...

we made our way deeper into the cave, and met up with the others. the place was very familiar... it was the same cave were Zelaous gave his life... or, his body at least. This, this is also the place where that dim witted monk jumped, i repeat, jumped into the void. i dove i after him and remember being very angery at him on the way back up. I think i smacked him into the wall... oh well, he deserved it. We ended up in a huge purple hallway. i cant remember how we got there, but it reminded me very much of Alice falling through the rabbit hole. there were clocks everywhere. they were all different too. one wnt up to 14 i think... and another only had 3 or 4. Mojito figured it was to control the lifetime of someone... or something like that. i'll ask her if i see her again. she scurried off somewhere.

while we were looking at the clocks, a... a metalic... chocobo came after us. I know it sounds like i hit my head too hard, but i swear this is what happned. it was able to freeze people. not like, in ice, but freeze their timeline. stopping them in time. we all tried to attack. i think a new guy joined us... cant remember though. we all attacked the chocobo, but when i went to attack, it rewound we so much, i hit my head... thats where it's a complete blank. i havent gotten to ask the others what happned yet.

i woke up in a beautiful forest... i thought i had died and gone to heaven. there are not word to describe just how breath taking this place is. i havent gotten to walk around yet, i have a pounding head ache. i can hear a water fall somewhere, and it's making me very sleepy. i think i'll take a nap and recover some more.

Yesterday, i followed my friend Kcin into the woods. i know it was none of my bussiness, but how do you over ride old habits like that? he didnt seem to mind that i followed him anyways, so i guess it all worked out. I met his friend, Sego, and she seemed real beat up. she was pratically starved to death! Her old master is after her and attacked her and her friends. nobody should have to deal with that. i helped out as much as i could, but people in such a state dont want to get others involved. i know how that feels. Darrius wouldnt let go either... but thats not what this is about. Kcin sent her to the inn and she should be getting some sleep.

On a happier note, I met an odd little creature called a Mojito. She was very fun to be with... but i think she stole my bracelet. no matter, i didn't like it much anyways. I stole some Pocky from Kcin and enjoyed some Mushrooms with Mojito. i suppose curiosity can lead to some very interesting days.

This journal is accompanying me, Kyra Maverick, along my adventures through the clearing in the woods and also deeper in the woods.

Kyra is roughly 23 years old with wind swept navy blue hair and nondescript grey eyes that change color to fit her mood. She was an assassin and a theif for hire, but is trying to leave all that behind her. She has large, beautiful purple and black wings, the colors of royalty where she is from. but she is trying to leave that behind her as well. She always is wearing a ring of flowers atop her head as mourning for her lost friends and allies.