Hello bored person reading my journal. ^o^
I'm tiered as ******** right now...need to sleep more. It's just when I start talking to Joey I can't seem to stop. sweatdrop I was on teh phone till 1:30am talking about like everything known to...anyone. gonk My friend Cody says its good to have someone to talk to like that, 3nodding It feels good.
Today is the 13th, blah blah blah. Sucks, boring...the only think "unlucky" about today, is how slow its going past.
I turned down summer intership again so I can try to find a job. I really, really, really need a job. I'm sick of being in this neighborhood all teh damn time or online, I wanna get out and do things and meet new people 3nodding I mean, the money would be nice I guess but I really want the experiance. whee
Money...money is weird to me. xp It controls all the world and stuff, it buys the food we eat, the homes we live in, and can even buy other people. THAT is some powerful s**t right there. But like...I dunno...I sit down and think abotu shiz and money is jsut...I mean...like, I know you need it to live and stuff, but its really not all that imporant to me. I could be poor forever, but as long as i have other things that make me happy I just...wouldnt' care. They always have the scenrios in movies and books where the girl has tro choose a guy. The rich man who can set me up for the rest of my life, or the poor man I love blaugh I'd be the girl to pick the poor for love, because love is more important than all the money in the world :3
I'm hungry sweatdrop .....way hungry. Nothing good to eat in the house, though. If my mom heard me say that she'd b***h at me and say I'm "not looking hard enough". stare ....my mom is the type of person to buy ceral and no milk, lunchmeat and no bread, speghetti noodles and no sauce -_- ...and then when I ask to buy smething she freaks teh hell out on me.
Bleh...and bored.
Wanna talk to Sann :3 And no, before anyone thinks any crazy s**t like I'm obsessed or something just hear me out. Sann makes my day everytime we speak, even if for only a few moments. He's funny and cheery and when he's neither of those, I still feel so...happy inside myself just to be near him. He makes everythign feel better inside me. When I'm upset he's calming, when I'm happy he makes it 100x's better...just...I dunno... redface Lemme stopbefore I say things I shouldn't...
...still bored and hungry.
And sleepy. So sleepy. I'm sleeping all day today so I can spend the night with Joey. No, sweatdrop I dont' mean literally...we're just hanging out tonight and I'm really excited for it. whee More tiered than excited though.
My god...you gotta hear him talk in spanish! Its so...kewl whee whee 'cause he's fluent and everyone in his household talks it. 3nodding His words aren't messily put together its like sooooooo riiiiiiiiight! 4laugh and it makes me so horny when he talks to me in spanish cause of how good it sounds heart heart heart
Hmm....
I miss Chris...alot. He hasn't been online since like the 9th so I'm kinda worried. Way worried...I thought at first he was just busy or something, but its like 5 days later and still no word so Id unno really what to do...I'm not freakin out and panicing...I just really hope he's ok. I feel like he's forgotten me...its a bad feeling too. sad He's one of the most imporant people in my life and I love him so friggin much...I wish he'd call me or something. sad He doesn't cause he can't or something...I dunno...::sigh:: I feel like he doesn't wanna be bothered with me sometimes and that thought hurts alot. I feel like he doesnt' like me anymore or something...
I dunno...I guess I'm thinking to much.
Oh....I took a pic of me today.
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</center>Its suppose to look like that....I made my lil bro take it and hsi stupid a** put his finger infront of the flash...
I have another anime I like and I wanna look into it. Its called "Full Metal Panic"...something like that. My brother's watchin it downstairs on AnimeInDemand. I gotta check out that, Chobits, and PreTear.
Morris brought this book to school today about all these diffrent sex positions. 3nodding Its his moms and she gave it to him xd Morris's mom is so kewl whee I heart that book. I asked him to ask his mom if she has anymore. That book was ******** awesome. It had all these sex postions and sex inhancing things you can do and foreplay stuffs it just...rocked. Hell, it even had a section for sex postions for guys with lil dicks, 3nodding so they could "penetrate more" xd xd xd I need a copy of it not only for personal reasons, but for my deflowering of Joey. 4laugh wink
...and yes, I know what deflowering means. I dont' know if you can deflower a boy though...only context I have heard it in was for girls gettin raped back in the 1800's 3nodding but I figure, the hell with it...I'ma use it how I wish.
Joey was suppose to call me an hour ago. But...he showed his parent the paper that has the classes on it and stuff so he's probably being cussed out or something. sweatdrop He went back home the other day and I miss him like hell...::sigh:: He was in Ohio visiting family and thats how we met...I knew his cousin and she introduced us and we just clicked with eachother. He lives in Cali, though...::sigh:: So ******** far away and I hate long distance s**t but I really couldnt' help it this time x_x He's diffrent...like...just this way I am comfortable with. We fixed why I was mad yesterday whee heart He used gentle words of reassurance and I can't believe I doubted him for a sec redface ...I found the perfect guy. heart Its like with each relationship I always think I have the "perfect guy"...but then after I am dumped (or I dump) that person, I find someone else so much better for me than they could of ever hoped to be 3nodding Everything just feels so...right. redface
But then the confusing feelings toward Sann come into play. Like...we love eachother and stuff, but I dont know if he means as friends or more than friends or what...like, I dunno...he said "more than anyone else"...but whats that mean? sweatdrop I mean...I dunno... sweatdrop I care about him as more than a friend too, always have and if it wasn't for some of his connections I woulda sure as hell persued him as a love intrest. That and he didn't seem to like me at all either sweatdrop ....I dunno. I mean, I'm happy as hell with Sann and just...everything feels so balanced and perfect and after Isaac dumped me I didnt' think i'd feel like this again. I feel so lucky to know him and I want to show him how much he means to me but I don't know how to >.< I wish I knew someone I could ask and stuff to learn more...it sucks that I dont', so I dunno what I should do...
Sann said he wants to visit me next year redface I mean, xd he said all his RO friends, 3nodding ...but me especially... redface I like...I dunno, I never thought he felt like this to wanna see me and all.I mean...I dunno, his feelings confuse me alot...he confuses me alot. Even though I'm lost a ******** about the entire situation with him...it doesn't like really bother me or anything. Like I dont' wanna seek-n-persue him until I devuldge every bit of information from his adorble little head heart I just wanna be around him and feel that special way I feel when I'm with Sann. redface
Mmm....me so sleepy redface tiered as hell all I can think abotu is sleep...I'ma make me some ramen, eat that, and go to sleep~ heart
