Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

This is a letter I wrote to my then crush when I was a blast with emotion...

I never did send it to him, but then it really isn't in my character to do something so rash... then again maybe I should of...

The feeling of overwhelming despair leaves but an endless chill of which continues to run painfully down my spine. Yet, I still have the clarity of mind to decide against, that of what, I desire to do the most. Even as tears swell with every word I continue to write, I doubt with the most sincere of passion if this letter was the best way to approach this. This, of which, being as obvious as it is not. Though being who I am, I see no other way in expressing, that of which I wish I could deny. Refusing to swallow my pride, I’ll never admit to anything, leaving you all but to assume and infer. As someone wise, once told me, “That, of which I must state, you’ll never learn.”
Meaning, if I have to tell you, it is not worth you knowing, for it has lost all sentimental value.
I know, all to well, that what I’m expected to find, in the route I have chosen to take, is the lost of all hope, what many optimistic souls call closure. I apologize, for the position I have clearly put you in, for in the situation of friends, feelings are something to be accounted for. You of all people should know that one of my strongest beliefs is that one should not be hurt by honest words, for lies and silence do not promote growth. In fact, I would be most offended in your ignorance, disregarding my courage to state that of which I felt I needed to. I am but a humble soul, who ask only of your reply, in a letter preferred, of feelings, even the court fool could see just aren’t there, hope, being all that remains, for many believe just because you can not see it doesn’t mean it is not there, but hope is for innocent children who still have faith in the world they live in.
I find importance in confiding, that I do not expect much of a reaction, for I even see this to be expected, but then again I’m not the clear definition of normal. Still, even a love note that wasn’t meant to do anything still has meaning.

Even though, I find myself lucky to be considered your friend, still I wonder, for many feelings I have yet to know, you own solely. Confused and dazed, I would have to move on, because waiting for you, is something I just shouldn’t do, but somehow I know I’ll always be waiting, but then to wait for something that might never come, painful comes to mind.

All I have left to say, that as I conjure all the possibilities to this letter, if it’s the closure I would expect, or a twist to the plot, I have the utmost confidence that it shall all work out. You, always being a friend, I hope to never lose.