I know this will sound childish but I'll say it anyway. It's not FAIR!!! I know that Alicia just wants to renew our friendship and not have things on such bad terms, and I'm happy that she's wanting me to be a part of her life, but at the same time I'm SO aggravated!
I feel like a man who's drowning and someone comes along. They take the float off the hook and turn to him and say, "Look I've got the Float!". The man feels relieved, but instead of the other person throwing the float, they walk away with it and say, "I just wanted you to know that I had the float so you could be happy for me. I won't drown at least!"
She has a new Dom... What right does she have to have a new Dom!? My gods! She's supposed to be mine! She only left because she got pregnant by David, why would she search out someone else instead of me!
Inside I'm screaming and can't stand it! I still love her and I didn't want to be reminded of that fact! I wanted to forget that I love her so I could move on! Now I can't! The worst part is that I don't want her to stop talking to me! That would only hurt even worse! But even then I'm not sure that's the truth! I don't know if I want her to leave me alone until she's single, or never stop talking to me! All I know is that I want her to be with me and someone else is with her. Someone else is touching and kissing her. Someone else has what is mine and is using it at their discretion and it bothers me more then I can properly say...
I'm so confused right now I really don't know what to think... It seems like forces are whirling out of control in an attempt to tear me to pieces inside... What to do... How can I move on? I don't know how... Not in this case...
Aslanemperor Community Member 
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