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And Gino was soothed by the sound of Snow's leg braces creaking manically, making the sound that a witch made when it cackled, when it called a little German kid into it's lair. And the two were annoyed by the sound of Billy Mays' desparate screaming far behind them. Too bad he wasn't fit and awesomenimity like them. Suddenly Gino felt something pulling and tugging at his amazingly long beautiful yellow pretty warm shining long hair. "Ahh!" But it was just Billy, trying frenetically to keep up with the actually-not-that-much-above-average runners.Man, he was like a mile behind 'em, the slowpoke. "You're slowing me down!" Screamed Gino, who was now continually tripping and falling into the disgusting brackish cesspool of excrement. "I can't let goooo!" Said Billy Mays, now being followed by some insane person speaking in Chinese. "Who is that?!" Yelled Gino, trying to turn back but couldn't. If he had looked back, however, he would have seen a large, pink bunny. But there was no time for that. The rumbling deep within the cavern became louder, swelling and pounding and hammering and all that jazz.
rofl rofl rofl
Finally Gino and Snow made it to a safe spot in the caverns. "wait...where's Billy?" Gino panted, his hands on his knees. "Oh no, Gino...remember that maelstrom we passed a while ago?" Panted Snow, trying to reapply her bindi. "--Oh dear." Both said. The two looked back at the ruins, dozens upon dozens of stalagtites all piled over the great cesspool that looked, sickly, like a ballroom. . .
"Well, we can't go back..." Shuddered Gino. "I wish I had SOMETHING..." She sighed. "Perhaps we will meet him again, somewhere in this asylum. That maelstrom is used to suck down runaway loonies." They trudged on, sheepishly now, to the deeper darkness of the cave. The wailings became louder, like a dozen little babies crying as their hair is pulled out of their scalp, and they cruelly are skinned alive starting at the tender places. Ooooh, how they screamed. The crescendo of crazies became louder and louder, as they trudged on, covering their ears and gasping for air in the humid darkness. "You know we shouldn't have gone this deep into a cavern so quickly. We need time to acclimate." "We have no time. We need to find Billy Mays!" Responded Gino. Snow gulped the musty air down, choking and crying from the rank stench of excrement and piddle.
"HALLLP! SOMEONE PLEASE!!" They heard, from deep inside the darkness. It was now near impossible to see. "I'm scared..." Squealed Snow. "Don't worry. Hold onto me and I'll lead you." So she did just that. (It was like venturing into a broken roller coaster in disneyland, only you were a 5 year old separated from your parents. Suddenly the roller line starts working again, and scary skeletons and cries fill the air. You cry and cry and nobody is there, the only sound the cries and wails of the crazy machine.) "I hate to say this, but I thought we passed this area already. . ." Mumbled Snow, holding onto Gino's arms. "How can you know that? You can't see a thing." "Try on these glow-goggles. I brought em', just in case." "Okay." But before Gino could put them on, a blinding flash filled the air, and the world was on fire. "Oooh, no!" "Argh, I didn't know we were in the pyromanical wing! Let's get ooouuuttt of heeeerrrreee!!!" Gino freaked out. But suddenly out of the blinding flames emerged a sillouhet, not quite visible, but it raised its demonic arms, about to claw and attack at any given moment.
"Yyyyyyoooooouuuuu cccchhheeeaaatttiiinnnnggg ooooonnnnn mmmmmeeeeee?????" Croaked the ghostly voice. "Argh! It's Hannah Montana!" Squealed Snow, hugging close to Gino.
The fire swelled and surrounded them now, nowhere to run. The ashy apparition growled and emerged from the flames, it's straight blonde lady- toupee flowing high in the sky once again. It pointed a condemning finger at the two, like a devil come to kill em and stuff.
"You brought me here. YOU brought me here!!" It screamed insanely, and then giggled evilly. It pointed at Snow. "Shite!" Uttered she, her legs bending together, the leg braces faltering as she quivered under Miley's demonic prowess. "Get ready to ddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!!11!!!1"
Miley screamed, lunging at her like a crazy wombat.
~~~~~~~~
All Gino could see was a huge fight cloud, the onomatopeas "pow!" and "biff!" coming and bonking him on the head, like he was in ToonTown. Damn Trippworld and its delirium. But of course, ze wonderful Snow emerged victorious from the scuffle, with a dried husk that barely resembled Miley. tw'was mirrored. "Oh god. I'm getting a message from the mothership. Please excuse me, Gino." Said Snow, twitching uncomfortablly with the strange receptor on the side of her head. "Oh, no. . . I'm fading . . ." Trembled Snow resentfully, trying to grab to Gino, but it was too late. She dissapparated for one last time, and then she was gone, like alka seltzer, leaving not a trace behind her except for a tiney pink tounge depressor in the shape of a key.
Gino picked up the key, scared and confused. It had images of Snow and her friend from her dream, Kyrie. "I've got to find her. . ." Thought Gino, picking up the husk of Hannah. "And Billy, for that matter. Eugh."
However, Gino didn't notice the hole in the space-time continuum that Snow had created when she dissapparated. "Oh, Gino . . ." Said a familiar voice. "&!!!!" Said Gaythe, pouncing on top of him. biggrin "Gaythe, that's myspace. not gaia." "Hey Gino! I got here through some alka seltzer portal. It was weird." He sighed, confused. "Wait. . .what?" "Yeah, I got here a bit ago. You didn't see me when I was running through the cesspool." "Hey, why are you in that bunny suit again?" "Um, just for leisure." Gaythe's mind wasn't totally seperated from his original Alphonse brain. "Where's Edward?" "Edward who?" said Gino "My brother Edward Elric", replied Gaythe. Suddenly a random screaming fangirl, named Supreet, runs after Gaythe/Alphonse. "Alphonse!!" she spazzed
"Alphonse who?", asked Gaythe (sometimes forgets who he is) "You..." she said looking confused. "OMG It's Gino!". she pointed to him. Gino made no response, and tried to whisper to Gaythe."Don't talk to her, she's an escaped invalid." "No I'm not!" Said the girl, making a pouty face. "I've come from Trippworld, in fact." "Ah, then you definitely need to go into a loony bin. Follow me--" "No!!!" She screamed, slap-slapping him and running into the shelter of Gaythe's fuzzy pink arms. "Ahh! Get off!" He squirmed. "Hey, how did you get here, Gaythe?" "Through Alcha-seltzer, I think. What? Alcha seltzer? Wait, do you think she meant Alchemy?" "That's my Gaythe!" Exclaimed Gino, clapping his hands together, having not a clue what was going on. "That girl back there - with the braces - was she an alchemist?" "Um, she was doing some cool science thingies, but I don't know. You'd have to ask her, but she disappeared." "Two where?" "I don't know." "Then we'll have to find a portal!" Said Gaythe, holding Gino's hand with his large, fuzzy bunny paws. "Hey, there was one where I came from." Said Supreet, smiling and motioning to a dark tunnel sect in the cavern. "Let's go!" Alphonse and Gino followed Supreet, unsure of whether she was telling the truth. Then Gaythe and Gino heard a low-pitched, pulsing undulation. It was the sound of the portal, a pitch black and indescribably smelly for some reason. "what is that foul odor?" Screamed Gino, about to gag. "I have no idea. Let's jump in!" Said Gaythe. All three of them jumped in to the portal. "Oh s**t! I left Hannah Montana back there!" Said Gino, but who didn't really care.
~ ~ ~
All three were tumbling and plummeting through black darkness, but there were many interesting scents that wafted through the air vacuum. The smell of a bubble gum in the shape of a dog, the smell of a warm blanket after being sent into the fire, the smell of a baby's feet (which stank, P.U.). Then , out of nowhere, Gino, Gaythe and Supreet all fell into an ocean. And after they fell into the water, they kept on sinking, deep into the ocean from such an impact. All of them felt like they were going to drown, being dragged to their death. Finally Gino broke teh surface, gasping and panting. "Gaythe? Supreet?" He called out, panicking. He looked about him, but they had not broken the surface yet. He dived back underwater to look for them, and saw them falling down into the water. Gino used his hands to carry Supreet out, and his hair to lasso Gaythe. He hobbled out of the ocean, exhausted and soaking wet. As he set Supreet down on the sand, and untied Gaythe, he waited for them to wake up. But they didn't. He bent down to Supreet, who wasn't breathing. Exclaiming, he turned his attention to Gaythe. Gaythe's bunny suit, he noticed, had a large cavity in it. And as he turned the suit over, water poured out of the side of his head like blood. "No!! This can't be happening! Dear God!!" Gino screamed to the clouds above him. But he blinked, and noticed that they were not in fact clouds, but angel bunnies, very similar to Gaythe. "NO!! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!! I WON'T LET YOU!!" Gino screamed, punting a nearby rock into an angel bunny's face, blasting a hole clean through it. "Yo, dude, we aren't here for Gaythe." Said one of the angel bunnies with "cool" rapper sunglasses on. "We're here to sing. CHRIS BROWN BABY!" He said hunkily, and beginning to sing. "I need you boo, there are hearts all over the world tonight, there are hearts--" "Hellllp!!!" Suddenly a box of throat-on flew over Gino "Throat on, apply directly to the throat etc." Chanted the throat on box. Then a decorated scythe slashed the throat on in two. "Darn you addictive chants!", yelled Supreet, who was the one who killed the box of throaty healing tools. She turned around to find Alphonse's pink bunny suit soggy wet and his head pouring out water. "ALPHONSE!" screamed Supreet, who ran up to him."What the hell is going on here?" said Gino, but in unison with someone else. It was Billy!~~~Billy had returned, yet now he looked different, strangely like Uncle Rico. From Napoleon Dynamite. He had transformed. "Ah, yes, everyone transforms a bit when they come here. Luckily it's always the same form. Yours is a horse." Said a voice from know where or the funfair. rolleyes Suddenly Gino knew that the voice and threw sand in the direction of the voice, hoping it would bounce off of it and give an idea of where it was. It bounced off of the invidible force and Gino lunged at it, but intead of attacking it, he got caought by the invisible embrace., "Silly child. I am the life force of Gaythonse. Heee...."Whaaa?", Gino asked. "Whaaa is not a proper question", replied the lifeforce. "But....", Supreet looked down at the Alphonse who was in the pink bunny suit. "I want an explanation please!" said Supreet "Alphonse turned gay!" replied Gino. "Le gasp! Noooooooo! Curse you yaoi! Alphonse likes girls!", Supreet said. She was resetful and wanted to untwist this twisted twist full of twist and cookies. "You do?" Said Billy Mays Rico. Apparently he could kythe now. "There's got to be a portal around here somewwhere. What's on the agenda for today?" Said Gaythephonse "Find Hannah Montana if shes still in existence and Snow. Then get the fhell out of here." Said Gino. THEY WENT ON THEIR WAY. NOT YOUR WAY.
Supreet stared at Alphonse and Gino. She came to this world for a reason, and didn't want to be confused about anything (cuz she's very picky about confusion and such) "We out to head north." Said Gino, now becoming a horse again. "Neee!" He squealed, tossing his head. Alphonse actually did a fangirl squee.Supreet cried. "Noooo..." "The twisty place is up north. That's supposedly where a--a maelstrom is! Oh, Alphonse!" She said, Looking up her book and glomping Alphonse (she got a bit clingy when she entered Trippworld). She was a booky girl. "There's a legend about it--There was a witch that lived up north in Greenland, and built her hut on a thin..." "We have a long way to go!" Sighed Gingo. he picked up a small frosty pinecone from the ground. "I'm 'onna save this for lata." He said in a Steve Irwin voice. He licked his lips and shoved it down his pocket. "What?" Supreet said, bewildered. "Gino, Steve Irwin is dead..." Gino screamed like a baby. "no!! It can't BE!" He was about to horse kick supreet angrily, when Alphonse jumped in the way. "Calm youself foo!" He said, just before the horsekick made contact with his lovely face. Then, when he turned around, boy was it the ugliest face ever. "I'm from Texas!" George W Bush said. "All it takes is a horse kick in the face to make another one of those things." Supreet shuddered. "Ahh get it off! There's a spider on my face!!" Alphonse screamed from underneath. She flicked it off and the spider landed on
alphonse. "EEEEKKKK!!!!!! GET IT OOOFFFFFF!!!!", he wailed. Supree t panicked and tripped on him, and the spider landed on Gino. He stared stunned, about to be overpowerd by the very force he created...or something like that. "NEEE!" He screamed, like a tripped out horse. He tried to fling it off his tail. But it just kept jumping back on and making dumb faces. "I am your father." It said. Gino, stuttering, replied, "nnyee nyeeah nyweel!!1" "We need to attack the turrists!" It said, and now a bunch of litte spiders emerged from nowhere. "Get them!!" Gino screamed, picking up Supreet and Alphonse and galloping away as fast as he could. he could still here the maniacal rantings of the Bush spider and his soldiers. "Nyahahaaha!" It said. But this time, when Gino turned around, he did. He saw his father. Gambino. with his crazy face. "N-NOOOO!!!" Gino screamed for the billionth time today, and jumped off a cliff that was nearby. The freaky face of Gamby Baby stared down at him. And then they plummeted itno the twisty place. ~~~ All three awoke in an artsy orchestrated frosty tundra. They were aboard a large ice floe. In the center of the floe was a tiny ramshackle wooden hut."This must be the place..."Gino whispered to himself, leerily treading forward. He knocked on the door...
...Opening the door was a noobish fangirl wearing a voodoo thing/sarong and a witch hat. "Ekekeke! Welcome to my palace. I've been expecting you." She bowed, her food stained red sarong touching the ground. "have you been enjoying the yaoi experience?" She grinned. "No!! We need to get back to our own world! Can you help us?" Gino said, pointing to the other two standing several feet behind him. "NO!" She scowled, turning ugly and wrinkly like E.T. "You listen to MY orders here! I am ruler of this world, and I say YAOI TIME!! Gino, go bone Gaythe now!" She used her evil powers to psychically drag Gino screaming and crying over to Alphonse, who was now somehow frozen. "Stop this madness!" Wailed Alphonse. Supreet ran to Alphonse and tried to push him aout of the yay, but he wouldn't move!! "Ever wonder why the girls are so annoying in this world and the boys are so...flirty? This is why! Let me go a bit into the history of yaoi, dear one." Said the wicked Yaoi fangirl, pointing her finger at Supreet. "It all began with Charles d**k-en's Great Expectations. The intimate relationship between Mr. Wopsle and Pip not only combined exciting elemant of yaoi, but also incest. And then there was--" But before the Yaoi girl could finish, Supreet growled and broke off the Yaoi girl's green witch finger. Like an old branch on a tree. "W-wha??" The girl looked down at her open finger, now bleeding like a fount. Then she proceeded to screech like a bat, sonar sounds breaking the ice that froze Alphonse so he could run away from the crying stripping Gino. Then Gino snapped out of it when he heard the bat. "You fuddrucking natsack! I'll get choo!!" "I'm not going anywhere till I get the portal." Supreet said, hissing, ears perked. "Rawr!" She rawred and lunged at the Youi girl, and finding the portal-potty in the bathroom. "You've got to go in, Gino." Supreet said. Gino, shuddering with ewwiness, stepped into the toilet and got flushed down into Gaia. "I'll miss you friend..." Said Alphonse. It was very awkward, seeing Alphonse give his parting goodbyes to something in the toilet. "Now it's your turn?" Said Supreet sadly. Alphonse sighed and was about to get in the toilet. When a huge explosion shook the hut. "Who wants BALLOONS kids?" Said a hyper man's voice from outside. Supreet grew wide eyed in absolute horror. eek "oh no...."She shuddered. ~~~"who is that?" asked Alphonse. "It's Bill Nye the Stalker Guy. He lures little kids with balloons into his 'science' lab." "Come on!! I've got enough for all three of ya!" "You've got to face yo fear sometime..." Supreet said to herself. She walked with Alphonse out into the ruins of the hut. And Alphonse was holding her hand. < biggrin yee! The two walked out into the scary tundra, where Bill Nye was standing over the dead Yaoi Queen's body, brutally maimed. "I've got Balloooons!!" He said, singing sinisterly. "Ah, you two can be a GREAT help. Hehehe. A GREAT help. Especially you." He suddenly grabbed Alphonse and Supreet by the wrist and took them away to his 'lab'. "I told you we should have stayed inside!" Said Alphonse. "no you didn't !! You told me to face my fear and look where that got us!" But this was no time for chit chat. Bill Nye in his baby blue lab coat was taking them away. ~~~When they got to the incestuous Lab, it was time for experimentation. "Oh no..." Shuddered Alphonse. He was dragged off to a room with chains on the wall and a large bucket. That can't be good. Supreet was escorted near a table with large vials and such. "You're gonna help me make punishments for the kids!" Said Bill Nye, laughing cruelly as he showed her how to make napalm. "And if you don't do it, you'll be experiencing it soon." He growled, fangs bared. Greasy brown hair hung in strings from that monster of a hairdo. "Good good, my little Scincest! Oh, I mean Scientist! Whoop!" He said, stifling a twisted laugh. Then he went over to Alphonse. He smiled. "I can't believe what a catch I've caught here..." He said, holding Alphonse's bewildered face in his hands. "An alchemist." He giggled evilly. "We've got a special thing for you to do..." Bill said, walking around the room where Alphonse was chained to the wall. Bill tapped the vat on the floor, a grin creeping up his face. "N-No!!" Alphonse screamed. "Yes. Make phosphorous." "Arrrghh!" Alphonse toiled with the chains that held him fast, but it was no use. "Get to work, kiddy!" Bill Nye stomped out of the room. "Or I'll squeeze it out of youz!" At that, Alphonse made an L face and it looked like this: (I)___(I). Bill Nye cackled evilly and scampered out of the room, and Alphonse was left alone and ashamed. When he went back to Supreet, she had accomplished making lots of napalm. It looked like Jell-o. "Good, now let me test it!" He flung the stinkering, jiggling mass of Lestat Fat far out into an open field he had in the back yard. It made a big fire that walked and danced around happily. "Hehe, this will get little Billy to shut up." He took the rest of the napalm in a can and walked into another cell similar to the one Alphonse was in. A few seconds later, a little boy could be heard wailing in excruciating agony, as Supreet's naplam ate at his sensitive skin, and then sobbing and yelling occasionally..as it became dulled and he was unconcious...and then just the demonic crackle of the fire, so like the sound of logs burning on Christmas Eve. And then"Supreet, your napalm worked so well, I want you to help make some more!"
 Angela-Kitsune · Wed Jan 28, 2009 @ 12:47am · 0 Comments |
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