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~GINO’S ADVENTURES UNDERGROUND~ (as a rock star!) ɛ(^w^)ɜ
The fan girl was running fast towards Gino like Charlie Chaplin running away from a fez, and yelling something in Swahili, her sandy hair in the sky, so high, flies, flies in the sky makes me want to sigh. Because it was actually a lady toupee. “Who in Gods’ name are you?” Gino flinched, astounded by her delirious aura that seemed to be spit onto him. “Heya, darlin’” She laughed and spit a tooth out of her mouth. It wasn’t even her own tooth. It was from a monopoly game. “You remember me, right?” She breathed. “M-M-Miley!?” He stuttered, realizing that it was the loud goblin that he had met at the zoo I mean the beach. “The one and only. Actually maybe the two and only. I don’t know.” She held out her freckled hand to him, dripping with lard grease. “Eugh...” grimaced Gino. “Now I have the best of both three worlds!!” She said, puckering her lips as if to kiss him. “Hey~! You! Hillbilly Hannah! Get away from my man!” Yelled a girl now, in a gothic Lolita jumper, a bindi and leg braces. “Well, actually, our man.” She laughed. “Ah!” Gino gasped and ran over to her, and now four or five other girls that were emerging from an observatory. “Who are you?” Asked Miley Cyrus, or rather screamed. “We’re his harem!” One of the girls responded. Then Gino and the five or six girls dissipated like alka seltzer due to amazing science. Miley SCREAMED in frustration and started flailing like a cross between Charlie Chaplin in a freak out and a gremlin that went out into the sunlight. Slamming her head against the wall of the observatory, blood started gushing out of her scalp, yet she still screamed, her head pounding like a nail and red in the face. Now her eyes became loose from her skull, and–oh wait it was just the freak out.
ʘ3 ʘP ʘ)
Now safe inside the observatory, the young girl in the lolita dress and leg braces introduced herself to Gino. “I’m new here. My name is Snöw. I have dwelled in Trippworld. I was hidden as a clone.” “How did you get here?!” Stuttered Gino. “Teleportation is a wonderful thing. Ever heard of Project Rainbow?” She inquired. Then suddenly, she started fizzing and crackling, just like alka seltzer, fading in and out like bad T.V. reception. Her eyes stuck to her forehead. “Oh dear. I still need to iron out the kinks.” She said, beginning to do the rick roll dance. “That’s okay. I like it kinky!” But the girl was lost in her song. “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,” She murmured, spinning her hands in spirals. “Oh, right! We must commence in the love making primer, (or hazing, as it is termed in some worlds, [or welts, as it is termed in Germany.])” “WHAT?!?” Gino’s face became a cute pink. “Ya gotta f**k me, mister.” She grumbled, now sounding like Jiminy Cricket or something. “Oh, I know that. But wh-how did you make the parentheses around your words??” “It’s an application. You can buy it from that megacorp Apple! Haha, I get it now. App-le, App-lication!” “I must get those...they’re spiffy...” Gino pondered. “But first we gotta get busy! Oh and I bought some books for you. I hope you like. They’re all from Trippworld, so I don’t know how relevant the data is here. They’re all about neurology. And were 400 glasses each.” Snöw hopped up and hugged him, singing about refugee education. “Kay. Let’s go.” Gino led Ms. Leg Braces into a tiny room that was gnome-themed. “Well, do you take the metal things off?” He pointed at her leg braces. “Um...not really.”
“Will this hurt?” He whispered, blushing. “I don’t know...” Snöw laughed. Gino rick rolled his albino red eyes. Well, to save you the detailsm, Snöw broke part of her leg braces due to such intense . . . love making. As she hobbled out like an old lady, sobbing and crying, Gino had bruised legs from the leg braces. “Please don’t take me to the Soylent Green factory! Pleez!!1" She blubbered like Wormtail from Harry Potter. But the wahmbulance was already waiting. “No...” She growled under her breath, her face darkening. “I shall not...become a green Fimo block!!!!!!!!!!!!D<<<<“ Her eyes glowed red and she grew great wings, and her eyes grew bigger and bigger. She began to grow feathers and while this was happening, her nose and mouth started to merge into a dark beak. All the while her huge eyes grew huge, like large red suns. Her leg braces melted down into her feet, which became talonlike. “HOO, HOO!” She roared, the tremulous sound reverberating through the observatory rotunda like an earth quake. Make that Gaia quake. Now a giant owl, she yelled again, “hoo, hoo WILL DIE?” She scowled. “Snöw, relax! It’s not here for you.” “Oh.” She shrunk back down into her human body, and now she was wearing a pink see-thru capelet and a gingerbread-man-like jumper. “Who is it for, then?” She asked. “That Hillbilly. She knocked her coccyx in, doing god knows what.” “Ah.” Snow held in her hand a pink key the size of a tongue depressor, adorned with sequins and glitter, and stickers of her and another young girl from a mall photo booth. She sighed, looking at her friend. “What was her name?” Asked Gino. “I don’t remember...I think Kyrie, or something similar. All I know for sure is that she came from somewhere on a map called Ratatat. Or Ratatata. Not quite sure. I only met her once, in my dreams, and I PROMISED her that I would never forget her. And she promised too.” Her face seemed remorse and nostalgic. In the far off distance, there was the sound of a toilet flushing, and suddenly a wombat tribe flushed in through the observatory doors. “Augh!” Gino flinched and held his head above his head. I mean his arms. Yeah. “Shite~!” “They poo!” Blurted Snöw, covering her head from the incoming poo of the bats.. “Hey! These wombats are not short-legged, muscular quadrupeds, approximately 1 metre (39 in) in length with a very short tail, found in forested, mountainous, and heathland areas of south-eastern Australia and Tasmania. They are bats!”
WOMP WOMP WOMP
The bats carried Snow and Gino out to the beach through the observatory window, where they could see the gory details of Miley’s self inflicted torture. There was a huge bubbling spot of dark sizzling blood, yum yum. It actually seemed to sizzle like the alka seltzer effect that Snow had gone through.. Just then Miley’s chant about having the best of both worlds ran through Gino’s head. He shuddered. She was now being shuffled into the Wahmbulance. “Does that one go to the Soylent Green factory?” Asked Snow, with shining eyes. “Er...no. It goes to the ... insane asylum. Sorry to disappoint you.” “Oh, fiddlesticks.” She said in her best Angela Lansbury voice. Then, in that same voice she began singing Never Gonna Give You Up again. “Will you kindly stop that?” Gino nodded. “Oh...sorry.” She gulped. Riding on the wombat-bats, the island below them became like a tiney spec. But then the Wombat - bats began to dissapate, just like everything else in this wretched town~! “Oh, dear!” Said Snow, handing Gino an umbrella. “Open it quickly!” She ushered, as she opened one of her own. When the wombat - bats fell, they drifted down to Gold Beach like Mary Poppins. Suddenly something was rustling in the ground, like a gnome. “Oh my gosh? What is that?” Suddenly, it popped out of the sand, spraying sand everywhere. “Grrr....aaa....I’M BILLY MAYS AND I’M HERE TO SHOW YOU THE NEW KABOOM! AND THE STAINS ARE GONE!” Before Gino could respond, Billy Mays poured a tub of brown paint onto Gino’s shirt. “Aurgh!! What the hell are you doing?!” “Just watch. Okay, so I pour this Kaboom onto this man’s shirt, and within seconds. . .” Gino’s skin felt like it was being eat away by the Kaboom. “. . .The stain is gone!” Gino stared, speechless. “Yeah, and so is my shirt!” The Kaboom had eaten clean through the fabric (and even part of his skin). “You’ll be paying for that, old man.” “Haha, this enough for you?” Mays handed over a big roll of money, which equaled 60k gold. “. . .How’d you get this much money?” I’m the FAMOUS BILLY MAYS! THAT’S HOW! Plus Miley is my daughter. Im Billy Mays Cyrus!” “Ah. Should have guessed by the screaming.” Gino sighed. The two ran away as fast as they could. Snow scratched at her bindi, which was falling off a bit. "WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?" Screamed the freak from behind them. "I AIN'T LEAVING THIS HERE WORLD TILL I FIND MY THIS HERE DAUGHTER!" Snow shrugged. "It looks like the only way to get him out of here." Gino sighed. "If I can live this his annoyingness for that long." "Well. Which way is fastest to the insane asylum?" Asked Snow. "Actually...I happen to know a shortcut." Said Gino.
dramallama dramallama dramallama Gino lead the 2 others to a large, thick hedge. After squeezing through the tiny branches, which cut their faces, they found themselves in a hollow enclosure, all surrounded by thick hedges. The ground was covered with large white and tan rocks. Near one area, there was a small mound , barely identified by 3 rusted metal hoops portraying the small, foot length like area..
Underneathe some moldily soft brown leaves, crackling and musty-smelling, Gino dug his hands into the earth, and his fingers became caked with dirt. Underneath a shallow level of dirt was a rusted brass grate which covered a deep hole in the earth, dropping straight down into darkness. Snow thought that she could hear a voice echoing down below. "After you." Gino motioned towards the dark hole. Snow stopped to look for a moment. "Let's hope we don't get insane along the way, too. But then again, I guess we're all insabe." And with a shout of "Tally Ho!" She jumped feet first into the hole. Now Billy Mays was left, shivering like a freak from the 80's trying to disco dance. "--er--er--are-you-sure that th-this is the right way?" He stuttered. "Please. I've been down here loads of times. After you!" He said dismissively. But Billy began to protest and plead and be a wussy. "B-b-ut its-s dark do-down there!-re!" He stammered. But Gino just pushed him in. "Sigh...that takes care of that, I guess." He said to himself, patting his hands together to free the dirt clods. Then he himself jumped in, and they were all now going to the realm of the Underground.
~ ~ ~
The three came to in a strange cavern, and the sound of dripping moisture could be heard. "Ah, is there water in this cave creating condensation?" Asked Snow to Gino. "No...probably just some insane person piddling." "You mean this is the --" "Yup." "No way..." "Way!"
"This is not a good place to become sane." ". . .No comment. . ."
"MILEY?? MILEY!!" Yealled Billy Mays , 1000x louder than ever before. The shout was so loud that the cave began to vibrate, and the stalagtites began to crumble down onto their heads. Snow screamed! "Great going, ignoramus!!" She squealed. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" Yelled Gino. ALL THREE RAN FOR THEIR LIVES!!1 They could hear the sound of insane people being crushed and impaled by the stalagtites.
Wandering here and there, Snow was soothed by the sound of Gino's shoes padding frantically in the muddy cesspool underneath their feet.
 Angela-Kitsune · Sat Jan 24, 2009 @ 09:21pm · 0 Comments |
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